“The only person I believe in is myself.”He didn’t blink when he said those words and was looking back, not at me. His black eyes were filled with mystery but no reasoning.
- ‘The person he believes in… is himself?’ I wonder why he said that, was it because his father was dead and his mother was ill and bound to die any minute? He had no sense of hesitancy saying random things. He had no insecurities or inspection of logic whatsoever. He was just a talker. A mindless bigmouth who didn’t like anything but himself.
Sometimes, I felt like I was judging him though. His name was Ronnie, was, because now he’s dead and I’ll let you know how. “What do you mean by that?” I asked him and he focused on me. He sighed softly and stood up to take a book.
We were bored with walking around so we had decided to chill at a library to read our boredom away.He took a random book by Adam Sancher titled:Wisdom. I always wanted to tell him that he needs it but decided to watch him do what he does and settled down. “I mean, what’s there to believe in but ourselves? We sometimes believe in someone who eventually lets us down– or something that just doesn’t even exist.” He continued his blabbering.
“What about God? You can believe in him.” I said rolling my eyes at him realizing the conversation was stupid.
“Yeah well but that requires faith… I mean can you believe in me or any other thing but not yourself? You know yourself– your weaknesses and strengths, right? Then believe in that one thing you are sure about,” he said, smiling, like man, this guy has totally lost his mind.
“Are you ok? Are the books too intelligent for you?” I asked him sarcastically. He didn’t say anything and decided to pretend to read which was odd considering the fact that he wasn’t that type of guy who would just read. All he ever did with books is read the title and the first paragraph of the epilogue and toss it away.However, surprisingly he read a few pages from the book and even got lost in it. After a few minutes, he had read at least 12 pages from that book and even told me he’d borrow it to finish it at home.
“Yeah well but that requires faith… I mean can you believe in me or any other thing but not yourself? You know yourself– your weaknesses and strengths, right? Then believe in that one thing you are sure about,” he said, smiling, like man, this guy has totally lost his mind.
“Are you ok? Are the books too intelligent for you?” I asked him sarcastically. He didn’t say anything and decided to pretend to read which was odd considering the fact that he wasn’t that type of guy who would just read. All he ever did with books is read the title and the first paragraph of the epilogue and toss it away.However, surprisingly he read a few pages from the book and even got lost in it. After a few minutes, he had read at least 12 pages from that book and even told me he’d borrow it to finish it at home.
As we were walking out of the library, he turned to me and said, “And oh, the books aren’t too intelligent for me, I just assumed I was too dumb to read them at all.”. Pretty ‘ouch’ right there.