“I don’t want you Cynthia” I shout, as I walk in class the next day.
The learners go quiet, you can hear a feather drop. My classmates love gossip.
Cynthia looks like she cannot believe her ears. She stands frozen.
“Did you just..dump me?” She asks for clarity.
“Its over.” I emphasize.
“Ay voetsek! It’s not like I even liked you. Besides, do your friends know about your erectile dysfunction?” She laughs.
I look away.
“Listen up everyone. Mr Siboniso here was at my room, I was naked ready to give it to him. He failed to show up to me. He just kept kissing and humping me. Sorry excuse of a man.” Cynthia shouts and laughs.
“Have you considered the fact that, it’s not a dysfunction? I was just not into you, and that’s the reason my guy couldn’t rise to the occasion?” I shout
Cynthia looks back at me and laughs. “Whatever. Go, run along. To your poor girl.”
****
Two weeks later, Cynthia is back together with her ex boyfriend Diego. The two rudest, meanest, hard-core people as a couple. They truly deserve each other. They’re both so ego centered I wonder how their relationship will even survive.
“Hey Lusanda.” I sit next to her, during lunch
“Hi.” She sips her orange juice
“I love you. I understand why we can’t pursue a relationship now, I’ll give you time. I will wait.” I say
“I love you too, Siboniso.” She smiles at me
My heat flutters at her words.
“But, we can’t date. Not now, not ever. I choose myself and my books, I can’t deal with the drama that comes with being in a relationship. I can’t fail, Siboniso. I can’t be having sleepless nights because of you, if I fail, it’s over for me. For my parents and siblings. I can’t disappoint them like that. I’m their hope. Their light at the end of the tunnel.” She stands up and pecks my cheek.
“Lusanda..I’m sorry. I swear I’ll do better. No more Cynthia.” I say
“No thanks, goodbye Siboniso. I think we should go back to being strangers who share a class.” She walks away.
To avoid heartbreak? Avoid girls.
My heart feels like it’s been torn into two pieces, and Lusanda took the other piece with her. I know for sure, there is no hope.