To scream, or not to scream?
I swear, I played my cards right,
I smiled at every camera,
I waved at every stranger,
I giggled at every joke-
Even the ones that made me feel indifferent.
I swear, I played my cards right,
I always used my words right,
I never dared to expose the words
That the voices in my head screamed
With hopes to keep me conscious.
I wore my make-up right,
That should have been enough,
Right?
You would not believe how hard
I tried,
At times I would gild my heart
With hopes to be deemed as one of them,
Yet they audaciously deemed me
As mentally instable… Insane.
Regardless of the number of times
I had to hold myself from
Swinging uncontrollably on chandeliers,
Had to control my urge to kill whoever
Stepped on my toes and those
Who dared to make me cry.
I swear, I always hid my inability
To breathe in overcrowded places,
I learnt how to dance to all the genres
That never touchef my soul.
All I ever wished for was to be
Recognized,
To fit in,
To be loved more,
Yet now here I stand,
Being crucified for the insanity
I tried so hard to hide away
From the world.
I tried, I swear.
I spent years in convalescence
Due to my lack of altruism and
Extremely acrimonious behaviour.
What am I to do?
To scream, or not to scream?