I got a panic attack today.

How do I deal with it on my own? Because counting from 10 to 0 is something that does not even help me. I thought about all the nights where you stopped me just to hear my name. All the nights where you just wanted a hug but I was too scared to give you just one. I remember the time you told me that I’m a very arrogant person and very cheeky also, I just smiled because you were right. What actually made me wonder was the fact that you still went on pestering me just for one hug, but I refused.

You asked me one night to tell you about myself, you wanted to know me better. You asked for a writing letter full of emotions. I wrote one for you, probably something I would’ve never done for a guy but somehow you made me do it. You have kept it all those months safe, which I appreciated.

I regret the fact that you made me feel like it’s not necessary for me to know you that deep. I should have let you tell me. I never knew who you were but I trusted you. Although you’ve hurt me several times