I sit in the dark wondering why?
I sit for hours thinking why me?
Yes I’m aware of mental illnessess
Does it mean I should accept the darkness
I’m surrounded by deep darkness
I can’t even recognize myself anymore
The funny thing about all of this is. . .
I look for answers and they just
keep running away from me
I sit there waiting for pain
And it comes offering razor blades
As pain relievers and I take the medication,
Cause I don’t want to feel pain
Decided to distance myself from everyone
cause they too judgemental
I love pain cause it never judges me
atleast that’s what I tell myself. . .
Sitting in darkness not because of solitude
I sit there waiting to meet up with myself. . .
The other version of me that I don’t recognize
But it knows everything about me
If you knew the demons I face when
I’m with myself
You wouldn’t let my smile fool you