Can I ask you a weird question?

I know you remember when you lost your faith, but you remember the moment you gained faith? The moment you started singing praises and believing everything will be okay not because you were told to but because you actually believed it. The moment you thought that the flowers in the trees, the honey from the bees and songs from the birds where all works of art from an artist? Do you remember? I remember when I got faith, I remember the day the pain in my heart was replaced by an ache in my soul, the day I started believing was day an angel walked into my life, she healed me, made me whole… I wasn’t hurting anymore but I started wondering if I was worthy of you? I wish were, but I’m too afraid to make that wish because we all know who the genie is and I want to save my soul, I want to be with you forever even in the hereafter and I don’t know if they allow hurt souls where you go, so I want to work. I have to work, I want to cleanse my soul. You make me want to work on myself. I remember the day I gained my faith, because it was the day I met an angel and wanted to go to heaven to spend forever with them