I know I have been ignorant

To admit the bitter truth

That I have so many unresolved

Childhood issues,

That caused me so much

Rage anger,

And left me with trauma

Also a lot of hate,

I still remember when I 

Was at the edge of killing myself

I took my phone

To call suicide hotline number

With a urge to get help also to vent 

Out all my problems,

But I was transferred to another

Organization that costed money

So I can set up an appointment,

I was told sad news that I have

PPD,

Later on I changed my mind

And fulfilled it will illusion

That I am fine and not insane 

So there is nothing wrong with me,

It was all lie  

To run to face the bitter

Truth, so I created an excuse

On the other hand I was a harm,

My anger was always on 

A peak,

It made me to be impatient

That I allowed it to turn me 

To be heartless and selfish,

Like a snake lying on a 

Green pasture of grass,

I overreacted faster whenever I was 

Poked

I easily got irritated that I ended 

Up snapping to use violence and 

Hurtful words as an insult, to 

Be so much arrogant,

Everything worsen that I

Started to involuntary tremble uncontrollably 

When I was made angry,

I guess it was anxiety poking me

And I suffocated to breath,

My heart feeling heavy 

As a lead.

Today I seek help

Tomorrow I wake up with 

A changed thought’s and mind

That I no longer need help 

Because I carry a belief that nothing will ever help me,

To cease me to feel so much despair.