Your death brought pain to my heart
It opened wounds I thought I patched
Flashbacks of how I’d cry and ask God ‘why me?’
How I wished someone could stand up for me
How I wished I could be invisible at school
How I lived in fear
How I was shamed and treated like trash
Life was hard back then
The pillow was the only thing I could turn to
In my story
There were different characters with the same intesion
To hurt me, to pin me to the ground and laugh as I breakdown
I was scared back then
I was angry and it’s now that I realise I still am
I prayed for better days
School wasn’t my happy place
My laughter provoked them
My smile was a harmless weapon
A fake harmless weapon they couldn’t stand
Loving myself was hard
My eyes were full of pain and fear
My hands were shaking
My legs were weak
My head was down
I couldn’t face the world
I felt like a sinner cast with stones by saints
I felt weak for letting my peers bring me down
I hated my life
Nothing I wore, was fit for my body
Nothing I said, was fit for someone like me
Nothing they said could ever build me
Their words pierced my heart so hard, I couldn’t tell the knife has been removed
They left a mark I thought I removed
My voice was silenced
My presence provoked them
My actions were my weaknesses
My strength was crying in a room full of people who couldn’t see they’ve gone too far
I was not okay, I was breathing
I guess that was enough

Rest in peace Lufuno Mavhunga