If only I knew that a father’s absence
Would make someone feel the way I do ,the hate and anger, if only I knew that distance would turn us to strangers.

But now I understand,
I understand why you were never there all these years, it’s really hard being a father let alone raising a boy child,
I now understand the pressure because I’m about to be one,
I’m about to be a father of a baby boy and I don’t even know where to start,
But I really want to be part of his life but I have no idea how,
Do I need to have money father?
Tell me what do I need to have?

There are times where I wish you could come home and teach me but sadly you got your new family, and a son that you’ve been there next to all his life,
A son nothing like me,
A son that had everything when growing up, unlike me.
A son that went to perfect schools and now living your dreams,
A son that you see as your true heir,

It pains me when i see you with them
But then I can’t force things
You seem happly married
And I guess you don’t need me,

Only if you knew that I only wanted to get to know you, be at least my dad because you failed being a father since my birth. If only you knew what you were missing,

I thought I could make you proud by looking up to you and follow in your steps
But unfortunately seems like there’s nothing
I can do in the world to make you love me as your first son,

They say I’m just like you,
Then was my mom now its my grandmother,
She says I’m exactly like you when you were at my age and I hate every moment hearing that because I don’t know you and wish to never be like you.
But then I still wanna meet you,
I believe I deserve a little lesson from you, and a bit of explaination of why you left me,
I even pray to God to at least never make me leave my family in whatever problem, fight, argument or crisis I might have with them,
I don’t wanna be like you dad,

I will figure out a way and raise my son without you,
You were never there anyway,
If only mom knew that things would turn out this way, but unfortunately we can’t take things back, because then I hated you so much with no understanding of everything but now I understand that im not the reason why you left neither mom is, but you just a selfish, manipulative coward.

The son that you abandoned.