Can you be After my First?

because my first taught me lessons I don’t want to learn again. 

My first exposed me to transgressions I never want to go through again. 

Yes they were important, crucial and yet very hard to bear.

I won’t make any excuses about being young and naive and yet I’m sitting hear dragging sigh of heavy heave.

It might have led to obsession, a lover demanding possession over my whole being. 

I’m sitting here ruminating about it because the feeling still stings.

Can you be After my first?

so I can use the lessons I’ve learned to love you better than my next, 

hoping that with the love I will give there won’t be any next, just you. .next . .to me. 

Can you be after my first?

with hopes that even if I’m not your first or after your first but I will be your best, for the rest will be decided by time.