Dear Deon Goeieman

You were my friend, my Grootman.

If only I knew that the 18th of June

Were the last day that I was seeing you.

I would have recorded everything we were doing.

I would have taken a lot of pictures of us.

Bro how could you have done this to me?

I didn’t realized that you were saying goodbye.

When I woke up on the 19th of June,

Receiving the news that you are gone.

It felt like my whole world came to a still stand.

I don’t know how you were feeling.

I don’t know what you were thinking.

On the night you ended your life.

I’m sorry bro I should have been there.

I should have seen the signs.

I should have done more for you.

I should have spended more time with you.

I should have, I wish I could have done something.

Something to save you from what you were going through.

Something to kept you alive.

Maybe if I have spended more time with you

I would have been able to see the signs.

Maybe if I have paid more attention than you would have still been alive.

The regrets is killing me bro and the questions I ask myself everyday.

Sometimes I can’t even eat or sleep.

How could I not have seen that you were suffering?

You were suffering in silence!

And I… I couldn’t even helped you.

I was blinded by the smile you wore on your face.

You looked so happy and calm.

I wish that you have spoken to me before you

Killed yourself!

How am I supposed to live without you?

How do I move on knowing that maybe,

Maybe there were something I could have done to save you!

Your death came as a shock.

I’ll never heal or get over it.

I’ll mourn your death for as long as I’ll live.

I’ve made a promise to you and I’ll keep it.

I’ll keep on posting all the poems you’ve written.

I’ll post them here on your behalf.

Go well bro, continue to rest in peace and power.

My life is empty without you.

I wish I could go and dig you out.

I never thought that one day I’ll have to go and visit you at the grave

It kills me every time to talk to your grave and not receiving any response.

Bro! Bro! Bro! I’m broken, I’m lost without you!

My life is literally falling apart.

I see you in everything I do.

Life just took the only hero I knew and had.

Say hi to your mother for me.

Now that you are gone I’m all alone!

By Xolies Visagie