High school should be the best time of your life right? You supposed to make friends, participate in activities and create memories. Well with some of us the experience wasn’t so great. It was during high school where I actually realized that I am an introvert. I would try my best to socialize but just wouldn’t fit in. I was the unpopular kid but fortunately I used to get quite good grades so that’s how the teachers got to know me. I think that’s the reason why I never got bullied too, I was smart.

I would sit alone in the classroom during break time and pretend to be busy just to avoid going outside. I would read something, draw or pretend to be writing notes just so that I wouldn’t look too weird. My classmates would always come up to my desk and try to make a conversation with me but I would give them one word answers and keep quiet. Sometimes I would put on headphones so that no one would talk to me. There were times when everyone would be asked to leave the classroom during lunch and right at that moment I wished I could just dig up a hole and get inside until lunch break was over. I would just stand there by myself, waiting impatiently for the bell to ring. I did have a few friends, they would always come to check up on me but I would refuse to walk around the school with them. I didn’t want to be seen, I felt like I was weird.

I was never the noise making child in class either. I remember when the teacher wasn’t there, everyone would be moving around the class and chatting but I would just sit there miserably. I did not participate in class. The teachers would ask questions but I wouldn’t raise up my hand even though I knew the answers. The only time I would speak was when the teachers chose randomly. I hated orals so much and not to mention group works. I would write a very good speech but mess it up with my performance. I found it very challenging to stand in front of other learners and deliver. My hands would shake uncontrollably and the notes in my hands would fall. My whole body would shake and my voice would crack, I would cry sometimes. I felt so embarrassed and other classmates would laugh at me and imitate my voice and my actions . I had to force myself to speak though because I needed those grades. I thought I would get better as time went on but I finished my matric like that.