We never really talk about it do we?The pain the loneliness the hollowness the struggles of a life without a mother. It’s a topic most people fear talking about because they don’t want to seem so not appreciative and well cared for.
What we don’t understand as people is that yes you might have a family that’s by your side but they can never even if they try a million times fill the void the death of your mom left in you. It’s a feeling of forever and in some cases it seem as if you dwelling which is not the case.
People have to understand that the pain of losing a mother is a lifetime pain. No one even if they try to can ever get over the pain of having to go all the phases of life without your mom on your side.Its a pain that never ends we just try to leave with it that’s just the reality of life.
I lost my mom when I was 6 years and my little sister which is the last born was round about 3 months that’s what I was told. They said mom died a day before my graduation ceremony at creche and right after the burial my little sister had to go live with grandma just until she’s the age she is able to go to creche .
Since then life has never being the same. You know what hurts the fact that I don’t remember any memories I shared with mom when she was still alive. It’s as if I was brainwashed and that she never existed. I had hated myself that maybe I did not spend time with her hence I could not remember anything from the time she was alive.i would look at her photos and try to remember but it was dull most of times until now.
If I had felt this way imagine my little sister who came to live us when she was four years old how she felt. Having to be told that this is your family your sisters and brothers and that mom is no more she now has us. She was different you know from the rest of us. She was very quiet at most time and loved playing alone. Sometimes when she is listening to herself I would wish I knew what she was thinking about..And as she grew older I saw the pain in her eyes.
It was a struggle for me because I felt her pain. My sisters were there for support and to love and care for us but it never felt the same. We never lacked anything I would say we were taken good care of but we needed our mom’s love more than anything. We became very close and I remember I would hug her very tied and say one day mom will come in your dreams give you a forehead goodnight kiss.I had to be strong for her at an early age.
My mom’s death really took a strain out of me and my little sister too. You know everytime we went to the graveyard something in me would wake up …That something I had told myself I had healed from. I remember when my peers would talk about their mom and I would go quite and they would ask where is my mom and I’ll just stand up and leave because I did not have the courage to say she is no more. Till this day I hoped to see her one last time and unfortunately it hasn’t happened.
Appreciate Your Mom While She Is still Alive..We Dont Know What Tomorrow Holds.