Love that became toxic.

We started off so amazing, everything went so smoothly it was I was starting to live again. 

From waking each other up when one of us wakes up to video calls being done almost on a daily wow what changed. I never thought a love so good would end this way. Why did you have to treat me so bad after being so fully committed to look at me now I’m a stuck up fool for changing my ways for you look where that ended me up. I made sacrifices that you’d never make for me, I became a good girl for a bad guy..

Why me? Why me? 

Why do I always have to put up with guys who aren’t serious about loving, who aren’t serious about being with me, who don’t give me the respect I need, who don’t love me enough the way I love them I guess these are questions I don’t have answers too because I treat the bad boys right….

You said you’re different why did you lie? Why did you have to paint yourself with a brush that you’re not? Why? 

Problem is you think I’m the girls you use to date, the girls who’d do anything for you just to make you happy at their expense? girls who were too understanding and never knew what you were doing with other girls…

Why, why do you do that? 

Why do you flirt with other girls and see nothing wrong with it? 

Why do you disrespect me like that? 

Don’t I deserve my fair share of happiness? 

Don’t I deserve a guy who’ll only have eyes for me, who’ll give me the attention I need and give that to me only don’t I?

I’m not going to be self pity about this I’ve loved someone and in the process of it I lost myself and I’m not going down that road again. I know my worth, I know my value if you don’t see it then just let me be than let other girls disrespect me.

And you don’t get it it’s not about you posting me on social media I mean who gets happy about that nowadays I know some girls don’t get posted but that’s better because they don’t become fools.

Some girls don’t care wether you’re in a relationship or not all they wanna do is ruin things but you don’t get that you think making them happy isn’t too much of a big deal we’ll it is because at the end of the day they got what they wanted from you, your attention and that paints me as a fool. 

Don’t get me wrong you can chat to other girls but flirting with them well that’s just utter disrespect you know I don’t do that with other guys but you don’t appreciate anything I do for you.

Do you think those girls would stick by you if they knew what goes on behind closed doors of your life? 

But one day one day you’ll realize that what you did to me was wrong. 

I mean I buy you data so you can what make them happy I try by all means to make you happy but you don’t recognize my efforts.

I’d do anything to just to see you happy but you wouldn’t you think all this is just a game. I just hope that you come back to your senses and stop dealing with your relationship issues alone because you’re already making a lot of mistakes.

Maybe you think you’re ready but you not if you wanna continue to play around and you think talking about other girls with your friends is man enough then leave me alone, it’s obvious that I’m not enough problem is you think I’m your fool.

You think all the lies you told me worked I’m just tired of fighting I’ve made peace with the fact that you’ll always be a liar, you’ll always put your girls first, you’ll never be man enough to face the truth if you think you cheating me well you got it all wrong karma will deal with you. 

Delete all the chats, call logs , messages but always know the truth always has it’s way of coming out and when it does you’ll see who’ll be by your side.

God knows I’ve tried aNd I’ve failed with you maybe you’ll come right for the girl you rightfully deserve because it’s clear that I’m not that girl.

I’m a just a phase. 

I won’t try to make you someone you not but you’d sacrifice certain things that’s what love is about I can’t be trying on my own.

One sided love never works. 

All I did for you was because I loved you with my all and that was my mistake giving you my all and loving you with everything I had I should e know better, I wouldn’t be here by now.

I wouldn’t be in so much pain but you don’t care you think I get angry over small things, you think I’m weak, you think I’m childish that’s all the things you tell me and the sad part is you mean every word…..so why don’t you go get yourself a nature hun that you gonna treat right that’s going to be okay with you flirting with other girls because wow I can tolerate this bullshit I know my worth, I know I deserve better and God will answer my prayers and guess what I will find a better lover a lover that wouldn’t take me and my efforts for granted if it’s not you then it’s not you.

If we’re meant to be then we’ll be if not then life goes on.