The most interesting thing I heard, was from an old woman who said;
“My deepest regret is that I did not allow myself to live in each moment. I’ve always been in a hurry for the next great thing and now, I’ve run out of things to look forward to”. She was on those random internet videos where they stop strangers in the streets, and ask them for snippets of advice. It sounds cheesy but It really had an impact on me.
It had me thinking about all of my dreams and aspirations. A few years ago, I was running across my parents’ backyard, singing about the things I would do ‘when I grow up’. I believed I would be the happiest person alive. I remember wanting to swim in a pool full of cooldrink, eat cake everyday and live a house made of glass. Then, I somehow leaped through time and woke up as a young adult. I have slightly more realistic hopes now. Something along the lines of: I cannot wait to have more money, get a better job and move into a grand house. These ideas had me anxiously waiting for the next few years of my life to come and save me from the life I live now.
A large portion of these thoughts were fuelled by things I saw online. I couldn’t help but marvel at the middle-aged people who seemed to have mastered life. Their stories of progression were topped with understanding things better because they ‘have grown’. According to them, being young is associated with immaturity, looking like a mess and reckless behavior. It is a stage of confusion where nothing makes sense, and they could never explain the motivation behind their actions. So they always skip through pictures from their younger days, to protray their improved older selves.
The scariest thing about social media, is the powerful influence it has on our lives. Although it helps us stay connected, it can also be a source of pressure and anxiety. Scrolling through it long enough, a person may develop the need to live like others and set unrealistic expectations for themselves. Personally, it made me feel as though I was not living life to the fullest and that I was incredibly behind in life. That all I needed was to grow little more.
Ironically, the old woman’s advise echoed from my phone just as I was obsessing about the future. It found me laying awake, in the middle of the night, wishing I could shut my eyes and wake up as my future self. It made me realise that the pressure to grow up had overshadowed the joy of living. I was not the happiest person alive. Instead, I had gone from being a child who wanted a glass house to hoping for more money. Inbetween these hopses, are years I cannot account for, because I was overly focused on growing up.
I will admit, being young is not easy. There are days when I drag myself out of bed to go to my first-ever job. I honestly dont know when i will bag a better one. There are times when I never seem to have enough money or the solutions to any of life’s problems. Yet, I appreciate that I have the time to try everything, make mistakes and learn. So I have stopped wishing away these years and I am enjoying this season my my life; being young.
These days, I heed the advise of a regretful old woman. I take each moment as it comes and I am patiently looking forward to everything that is yet to happen. I am in no hurry to grow.