Is it wrong of me to be Inlove with my male bestie?

He is the only one who supports me when i need it, he’s the only one who i can tell my deepest and darkest secrets. I listen to everything he tells me and I’m always willing to give him the advice he needs without ever judging him.

I stood by his side while he was dating my friend. I have always been there for him even though I had to endure the pain of him being with something else. Every time he would tell me about a new women in his life I had to be happy for him, because he is my best friend. I support him whenever he is involved with another woman. We can laugh around and make jokes about many things, but I never could tell him how I genuinely feel about him. I’ve moved hours away to another province so that he could be happy and so that I can find myself again. But it’s not helping. I’m still not happy.

It’s been almost two years now , we’re still friends. I wanted to end our friendship, because he doesn’t look at me the way I look at him. I never want to lose him, because with him I found home. He is my comfort zone, he is my life. What shall I do?

We both admitted we liked each other before, but I brushed off that conversation with “But it’s all in the past now” . Knowing how much stronger my love had grown for him, i still want him to be happy. I keep dreaming of us being together, i still feel him stroking my face , physically holding me as his partner and not only as his friend.

Will I ever get the chance to tell you how I really feel? Or will I forever just be your shadow and support you the way I always have?

to be continued…