I’ve always been the kind of person that is private, I never told anyone about what’s going on in my life and my problems, I was so closed up even though I had friends.
I think I had trust issues. My friends trusted me with their secrets they told me everything when they have problems I give them the best advice. (even now) I became open and talked to my friends about everything seeking for advice because I thought it was unfair for them to trust me and I don’t trust them back, I keep secrets from them.
Clearly, I was totally wrong they give me the worst advice in the world all their advice lead me to nowhere I just regret myself after taking their advice. It’s like they are using me I get to help them but they don’t, even if I tell them about my bad day they don’t show sympathy they don’t ask how I feel that just don’t care. When Sjava said “seng’ze ngasha nezwi ng’memeza kodw’akekho osabelayo kodwa mak’memeza bona ngiyasabela” I felt that.
I’ve returned to square one I honestly think I have the best advice for myself, I don’t listen to friends anymore, Maybe I have fake friends. You too cuz, if you think you got the best advice for yourself don’t rely on a friend. It’s true, friends can lead us astray. It is true, keeping your secrets to yourself is the best option!
But, I don’t blame them and, I’m not even mad at them we’re cool they are my friends I don’t think talking to them about how I feel will help me. There are people who don’t know how to advise people naturally and they can’t change it. I’m just glad that I’m their first option when they need someone to talk to that feels so good TO ME.
My heart and my mind are in the right place, I’ve made peace with almost everything I’m just being the kind of person I wanna meet one day. I can’t judge my friends for who they are, I mean these people can’t even advise themselves, why did I think they could advise me? No matter what they are mine I accepted them because I want them to accept me too, for who I am.