Its morning again the time it’s 5 o’clock, he wakes up though refreshed but with the same mood he slept with yesterday, thinking how he is going to find money yet he can’t figure out any ways. he is a man in his early 20years yet he still wakes up from his parents’ house where else can he go has no money still depends on parents to survive, he checks for vacancies and applies some of them but doesn’t work what can I do he asks himself. Times with friends they speak about how they spend their money on their girls and weekends when he asks what do they do to find the money nobody tells him the means, well I just have to keep on searching he advise himself, His father once told him to stop moving like a headless chicken and concentrate on his future, “find ways to support yourself how you going to support yourself even if I say go and stay on your own”, he keeps on trying but no ways can he make the money. Someone once gave advice and introduced him in the business world how business works he was really interested he was more than ready to start but he didn’t know where to start, all it takes to start is capital were am I going to get that has no idea, he has been to school before but what teachers used to say was work hard on your education to get good jobs in future so he had to but where is the job now? Can’t see any, people say keep moving on but how will he keep moving on when he does not know where to go.

Life isn’t treating us all fair, when he looks at some of his friends who they used to go together at school some are married yet some are working and there is a smile on their face. The ones who are doing better are the ones he was better than them, what wrong did I do to deserve this he keeps own asking himself.

Life is cruel on both sides. well I saw her coming out of the shop so I followed her I got her number after some days we stated our relationship she travelled and I had no money to visit her, I was told she is in the hospital I just kept on wishing her well after some moths I receive a message telling me she no more life is so cruel, you know what I have never stopped crying for this girl”.

he once met a girl after some days the girl went to her village there in a long distance relationship they used to chart on the phone then he receives a message the girl is sick and is in the hospital, “I need to go and see her my love I miss you”, he keeps on telling himself but where will he get the money to travel he has no ways but he’s gat hope he will go and visit once he gets the money ,until he received another message telling that the girl is no more, still gets no money to travel and attend to her girl .he keeps on crying inside the heart, “I wish I should have come and showed you my love and carling while you were still on earth sweetheart but had no money to travel don’t know what to say but you will always be in my heart I will always love you and when we meet in paradise I will be the first one to know you my sweetheart Ellavia”, he keeps on telling himself.

Times continues to move like a liver it flows, so after some months he met someone she stays in chiwavi, lucky he can walk and see her, he believes and trust her she says she has never been with a man before well he believes her , “I have not yet slept with a girl before well we are just the same”, so he said to himself, it’s a relationship he has now stated kissing her, “the kisses were so deep I’ve not had such before well we continue living and time goes”, its almost a year now and he went to visit the girl with his friend when the friend saw her he says to him, “the girl isn’t okay maybe she has done an abortion or she might be HIV positive”. “All my Lord why me I felt sick stressed depressed thinking I have contracted after we been doing the deep kisses for some time ,I only pray to you my lord to protect me and make this prize not to be worn by me”, so he cries. He goes for testing founds out that he is negative he has not contracted the disease but still in a long stressing depressing situation.

He kept on crying and had to remember the girl who passed away and he says “if you were still here with me I would not have been In this situation today my love I miss you”, and he puts on a picture of the late girl on every social media account he has and writes on the picture wall I miss you, On Facebook someone reacted to the picture and he went on to her inbox and ask for any information if she knows about anything with the one on the picture. “Do you know her?”, she says yes and “where can she be now?”, she answers “she travelled abroad, she is In Tanzania now”. Why all this to me what have I been crying over?, it would have been okay if she told me to live her alone, my condition keep on worsening. Anywhere time heals so they say, I wish to forget and never remember all this what has happened and don’t know what is coming ahead but I wish all the best of all good life has to offer I need to be given .What am passing through is too much I keep on stressing and the depression keeps on killing me I don’t know how to handle this, so each day I continue to pray my Lord my Jesus please take the wheel.