A friend of mine was once deeply distressed, and the only thing that came to my mind is pap. She was feeling terribly unappreciated, and as I listened, my mind kept returning to pap. We no longer spoke as often as we used to… but if she was in a dark place, she called.

I know, I know. How could I be so insensitive? How could I be thinking of my stomach when a dear friend was pouring her heart out? Let me explain, as I did that night during that lengthy telephonic conversation.

You see, no matter how hungry you are, pap, like so many of my favourite Mzansi dishes, adheres to a process. -I’m not talking about that instant thingymajiggy. That’s not pap. I’m talking about the real deal! You don’t just dump the maize meal in the pot one minute and eat in the next.

Notwithstanding minor cultural variations here and there, you first have to boil some water with a pinch of salt in a pot. Then, you add the maize meal while stirring vigorously. The aim is to stir in such a way that there is no lumps, and if you’re too slow, the bubbling pot will chastise you. You then close the pot, giving it at least two or three good stirs over the next hour or so. For me, it’s that warm comforting smell that tells me when my pap is ready.

Sometimes in life we are required to exercise patience and restraint, and follow a process. Your peers are living their best lives, and every second person you know is getting a promotion, and here you are, barely surviving, reading another “We regret to inform you” letter.

Listen to me. Your pot is not ready yet. Perhaps the water hasn’t boiled. Maybe it needs to be given a couple more stirs. Life can sometimes whip you into shape, turning you this way and that. You don’t want lumps in your pap, trust me. God is preparing this dish just for you. For you! He can dish it up for you right now, but you not going to enjoy it because it’s simply not ready yet.

Perhaps you’re like me, a late bloomer. I’m not too sure if the connotations have changed, but for clarity’s sake, throughout my life I’ve always been the last amongst my peers to cross the finish line, to succeed. And yes, from time to time it frustrates me, but then I remember that bowl of warm delicious pap, and I persevere.

It’s okay not to have it all figured out. It’s okay to have setbacks. It’s okay to change course when things are not working out as you had hoped for. This is your race, your fight. Don’t try run it in someone else’s stilettos. Don’t try box wearing someone else’s gloves. Do you!

The first quarter of the year is over. You’ve forgotten all about your new year’s resolutions, lost your momentum. So what? Even if it was November and life was a mess… so what? Take a deep breath. Get in touch with yourself again. Remember what matters to you. Take a break if you need to, but don’t give up on you. Why? Because there’s no one like you. No one can do that one thing like you do.

Your pap will be ready soon, and all you’ll have to decide is how you want to enjoy it.