I needed her to leave me alone and she just couldn’t. She had to force me to get a reaction out of me and she got it. I lashed out and cried. I want to protect you in every way that I can because I really don’t want to lose you. You’re incredibly important to me. I’m just not so sure about how important I am to myself. I’m tired of living Lwandle. I’m tired of suffering and constantly fighting to be happy. I’m really tired and I don’t want to keep doing this. I know that it’s really selfish of me because this means we both die or I could live long enough to let you live and then die afterward.
But you see, I don’t ever want you to live without me. I know how brutal and hard the world can get. I’d hate for you to experience that without a mother and a life partner. I want to be here to make sure you’re as happy as you could possibly be. This definitely means that I’d sacrifice my happiness but I’m okay with that because I’m your mother and that’s what mothers do – sacrifice. I’ve sacrificed so much to let you live, I’m willing to sacrifice even more because you deserve that much. I love you, baby. I will always, always love you!