Perhaps going home this year is not an option, because unlike your siblings or cousins, it wasn’t such a great year after all. You feel you have nothing to show for it, and because some of our families can be so demanding, you just can’t face them empty handed. I know, it hurts. I’m sorry.

Yes, you had big dreams, set high targets for yourself, but something unexpected happened. Maybe the big job opportunity you were promised never materialized. Maybe you failed the big exam that was supposed to earn you that promotion. Maybe you are the only one in your grade that failed. It’s not how it was supposed to be. I know. I’m sorry.

You told yourself that this was going to be the year that you too would celebrate Valentine’s Day. This is the year you would declare your love, maybe even pop the question. You were determined to stop talking to the four walls and lie next to a warm body. Instead you were crushed, and the walls are back up again. I know your pain. I’m sorry.

Maybe you weren’t ready to say goodbye to a loved one, but because death arrives unannounced, you find yourself in mourning. Some have been in mourning for years. It’s okay. No one understands your pain, loss, like you do. We always think there’s time, until there isn’t.

You thought of all the people in your life, she or he would never hurt you. Not your Dad. Not your Mother’s child. Not your bestie. Not your lover. But they did… so badly. To this day it stings. From time to time you are triggered. Remember, as long as hurting you hasn’t become a regular occurrence, they are human, and so are you. Decide whether it’s still worth it.

Every year we tell ourselves this year is going to be different. “This is going to be my year,” we declare. “Time to get my sh*t together,” some tell themselves. The flip side is we get way too comfortable, taking family, friends, partners or that cushy job for granted. Forgetting that change, as they say, is the only true constant.

Life is unpredictable, and often, without even realizing it, we are moments away from losing everything or having our lives irrevocably changed. Always leave a little room for self-forgiveness. Pause. Reflect. Be gentle with yourself. Forgive. Ask for forgiveness, if you need to. Remember who you are, and how far you have come, and when you’ve rested, from a place of truth, rise, and try again. You are worth it!