I was unlocking my car in the work parking lot that Friday when I spotted Colin scrunched down behind the dumpster. He poked his head out, looked right, then left, and dashed to my car. Once there he scrunched down again next to it.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m having a little bit of a problem. Nothing to worry about. If you could just open your back door and let me climb inside, it’ll all be fine,” he whispered.

“What’s wrong with your car?”

“Nothing. It’s just a bit occupied at the moment. I’ll collect it later. We’re both going to the bar. It’s no problem is it?”

I opened the back door and he jumped in and lay on the floor. “Do you have a blanket you could cover me with?”

“No. What is going on Colin?”

“Nothing let’s just get going. Give me your jacket.”

I took off my jacket and handed it to him. He rolled up in a ball and covered himself. From under the jacket he mumbled, “Let’s go.”

I started the car and as I drove out of the parking lot I saw Colin’s car. A blonde woman stood next to it with two tins of spray paint, one in each hand. She’d been busy. In bright red and royal blue, she had decorated Colin’s car with a word that made it very clear she was not happy with him. As we left the lot, I heard a crash. I hadn’t originally seen the cricket bat. I was surprised the woman was strong enough to break the windscreen like that.

“Are we gone?” Colin said from under my jacket in the back seat.

“Yes.”

He sat up and clambered over into the passenger seat. “Wow! You see? Women are mad. Completely out of their heads.”

I just looked at him and kept quiet.

*****

It was Friday and when we got to the pub it was already getting crowded. We spotted Noko and Ofentse at our usual spot at the end of the bar.

“I need a shooter and a beer,” Colin shouted to the bartender. “It’s a medical emergency.”

“So what did you do to that woman? I heard her screaming at you,” Ofentse asked.

“It was just a misunderstanding.” His drinks came and he dashed for them as if he had just arrived from the desert. “She thought I asked her to marry me at some point. But it was a mix-up.”

“How could that be a mix-up?” Ofentse asked.

“Well she was reluctant to go to bed with me, saying how she was saving herself for the man she was going to marry. I wanted her to agree to go to bed with me so I told her I was the man who was going to marry her. She interpreted that as me asking her to marry her. Crazy. You see? Simple mix-up.” Colin smiled and motioned the bartender to bring him another beer.

Ofentse shook his head. “You really are a scoundrel of the first order.” Ofentse looked down at his phone and read the text message that had arrived. “Well fellows, I need to leave you.”

“The little lady demanding you come home?” Colin asked.

Ofentse patted me on the back. “Yeah, something like that. Behave tonight, magents.”

We watched him make his way through the crowded bar. “Poor guy. I feel sorry for him,” Noko said.

“Oooo…perfect threesome sitting at six o’clock,” Colin said. I looked at the table he was referring to. Three quite beautiful women sat together in a booth, no men in sight. “I think it’s time to do some maths. Three plus three equals a very fun evening.”

Colin and Noko were already collecting their drinks in a bid to make a move to the table. I hesitated. “Now what’s wrong, Mmila?” Colin asked.

“I don’t think so,” I said.

“What do you mean you ‘don’t think so’? There are three women, we must have three men, or the plan falls flat on its face. Don’t tell me you want to pass this perfect opportunity up because of Gorata? Have I taught you nothing?”

“Please don’t mess it up for us,” Noko said, so pleadingly that I couldn’t refuse. Anyway what harm could it do? I would just sit with them to get the ball rolling and then disappear. Everything would be fine.

***

Tell us what you think: Is Mmila doing anything wrong?