Monday morning I get to the office and begin my ritual of coffee and watching Lilly.

“Epic weekend, bro,” Dave says, throwing himself on the chair opposite me, blocking my view. I decide to give him my full attention, just to get my mind off Lilly.

“So, Zandile? She’s cute. Are you guys going steady now?” I feign interest.

“Oh dude, how do you know me? Spent the weekend with her at her place. Like I said, epic!”

I already know what he’s going to tell me and I don’t want to hear the details.

I don’t know how Dave does it; he always gets the girl. In this case, ‘girls’. Turns out he hooked up with both of them! But I’m not surprised. I just need to prepare myself for when the girls get dumped and come crying to me, to please beg Dave to take them back. But I don’t blame the girls – Dave is a charmer.

He takes out his book and scores the girls. Zandile gets three stars and Joyce gets four. I’m hurt, but I try not to show it.

“You’re OK with me hooking up with Joyce, right?” Dave says, closing the book. “I mean, it’s not like you two were together.”

I shrug. I don’t know why I do this to myself.

“Oh, I see, you’ve already got yourself a chicky,” he says, looking straight at Lilly.

Shit! What have I done! Now she is in his sights.

“N-i-i-i-c-e, you dirty dog,” he says, punching me hard on the chest.

This time it really stings. I instinctively turn away, anticipating another punch.

“What are you talking about?” I say.

“You know, that little thing in gym wear.”

I’m starting to sweat. He mustn’t spend too much time looking at my Lilly.

“Naa, she’s out of my league,” I say, more to myself than to him.

“You can nail that chick. Just do what I do. Haven’t I taught you anything?”

I’m afraid he’s going to get up and go to her. That would be the end of us: Lilly and me. Dave always gets the girl. Always.

“I see why you like her; she’s not my type,” he says and I almost jump. “I mean, she’s got something, but not a lot. She’s too plain, not enough curves or lips. She’s pretty, though. I’ll give her that.”

Now I can breathe. Trust Dave to not see true beauty when it’s right in front of him. For the first time since I’ve known him I’m grateful for his vanity and superficial ways. My Lilly is safe.

“Really, dude, you should bang that,” he says getting up. “Gotta go, that money ain’t gonna make itself.”

As he walks away, I sink deeper in my chair. I can’t believe I almost blew it. I should stop staring; this was too close a call.

***

Question: Should Dave date Tumie’s girl, even though they only went on one bad date?