Isaac had bought that fridge magnet for Malaika when they first started dating. He was always buying her things: small, inexpensive things. Just to let her know he loved her.

Malaika read the words on the fridge magnet:

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.

Malaika burst into tears.

Isaac was instantly concerned. “I don’t understand! What is it, sweetheart? What’s wrong?”

But Malaika couldn’t explain it to him. She couldn’t explain that for her, yesterday was not always history. No, yesterday could come back again a second time. And tomorrow was not a mystery. No. There were times when she knew exactly what awful thing would happen tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.

So how could today be a gift? No, today was just a time of dread.

“It’s OK, Malaika sweetheart,” said Isaac. “Look, I’ll get rid of it.” He had thrown the fridge magnet into the bottom of a kitchen cupboard. Where it lay still.

16 January, 1996. Malaika remembers that date clearly too. Even though she was only five years old.

It was just after Christmas and Christmas had been such a happy time with Mama and Daddy. They took her to Midnight Mass where the singing was beautiful and the candles flickered brightly.

“You’re such a big, clever girl now, Malaika!” said Mama. And Daddy had carried her all the way home on his shoulders. So she felt like a princess.

Then New Year’s Eve came and what fun that was! All around them people were shouting and cheering and banging things in celebration.

“It’s almost 1996!” said Mama. “I think 1996 is going to be the best year ever!”

But then January 16 happened and 1996 turned into a very bad year. First Mama disappeared from the house and Malaika was too frightened to ask where Mama had gone. Then Daddy disappeared too and Malaika was left to stay with Gogo.

Then when Mama and Daddy came back, Mama was carrying a roll of blankets.

“Look,” said Mama. “It’s your new little brother, Malaika. His name is Leruo. Isn’t he just the most beautiful thing ever?”

Malaika looked inside the blankets – and saw the ugliest thing ever: a tiny creature with his eyes screwed tight closed and his mouth wide open, without any teeth. And the noise that was coming from that toothless mouth! It was the most ear-piercing, terrible screaming ever!

Malaika couldn’t help herself. “He’s ugly!” she said. And Gogo slapped her. Hard.

Mama said, “You are his big sister so you must love him.”

But the tiny creature spent most of his days screaming. Most of his nights too, so that Malaika could hardly sleep. Why didn’t Mama and Daddy make him be quiet?

But no! Mama and Daddy and Gogo all seemed to think this ugly baby was the most glorious thing on earth.

“A son!” Daddy said often. “Oh, how I have longed for a son!”

Meanwhile Mama held the baby in her arms all the time. Whenever Malaika ran to Mama needing a hug, she didn’t get one. Mama’s arms were already full. There was no space for little Malaika.

One day Malaika came home from play-school so excited. She had drawn a picture of a rainbow and her teacher had said it was beautiful and given her a bright golden star. Malaika ran into the house. “Look Mama, look Daddy! I got a star for my rainbow!”

But Mama and Daddy just hissed, “Shush! Baby Leruo is asleep! Don’t you dare wake him.”

So 1996 became an awful year for young Malaika. She felt ignored and unloved and pushed aside. Her home was no longer a warm and comforting place. But by December of 1996, things were improving. Baby Leruo had stopped screaming all the time. He was smiling a lot and trying to walk.

Best of all, Malaika had turned six. That meant after Christmas she was going to Big School. At last she would learn to read properly! Malaika was so excited about that.

Christmas passed. Then New Year. At last the horrible year of 1996 was over.

“Mama,” said Malaika. “We must go and buy my school uniform for Big School.”

Her mother frowned. “Don’t be silly. You can’t go to Big School yet. You’re only five.”

“I’m not five, Mama! I’m six. Don’t you remember? I already had my birthday.”

“Don’t be silly! Of course you are five. Where do you get such strange ideas?”

So Malaika didn’t get to start Big School that year. And then, on 16 January, once again, Mama and Daddy came home with a screaming bundle of blankets.

Once again they said, “Look! It’s your new little brother. His name is Leruo. Isn’t he just the most beautiful thing ever?”

Malaika burst into tears. “Why is this happening again?”

Mama frowned. “Why is what happening again?”

“Why has last year come back again?”

Malaika saw her mother’s eyes widen in panic. She knew she had said something very bad. And later that night, she heard Mama and Daddy and Gogo talking together. Baby Leruo had stopped screaming for a little while.

“Last year came back again? Are you sure that is what the child said?” asked Daddy.

“May the Lord have mercy on us!” said Gogo. “That is what Sophie used to say. Do you remember? She was always muttering about the years repeating themselves. Oh heaven and all the angels! I hope little Malaika is not going to end up like Sophie.”

And Mama wailed, “Don’t say that!”

Just then Leruo let out an ear-piercing shriek. Malaika put her pillow over her head to block the noise. And she promised herself she would never, ever say anything about the year coming back. No matter what happened.

Malaika knew a little about Auntie Sophie. And what she knew, terrified her.

***

Tell us: Do you have a younger brother or sister? Do you remember what it was like when they were just born? How did you feel?