Mxolisi and Philile are cuddling in bed, watching a romantic movie. It is raining on this Sunday afternoon, which just adds to the romantic mood in the house.

“The battery is getting low on the laptop, my love. Please get the charger from my laptop bag,” says Philile.

Mxolisi opens the laptop bag and right there, next to the laptop charger, he sees the pills. He has no doubt that these are birth control pills – his girlfriend in high school used this same brand.

In a flash he transforms from the loving Mxolisi into the rage-filled, violent Mxolisi. He turns to look at Philile, with eyes so glaring and red it seems like there is an actual fire burning in them.

“Are you on birth control pills, Philile? I’m busy making a fool of myself, talking about wanting a child while you know very well that that will never happen because you are on birth control!”

“I’m sorry, my love. I was going to tell you.”

Mxolisi sits at the edge of the bed. He has his back to Philile as he lights a cigarette.

“How long have you been keeping this secret from me?”

Philile knows this calm tone that Mxolisi is speaking in now. Over the years she has understood that it is the calm that comes before the storm of a violent outburst.

“I’m sorry, my love. Please forgive me, but you have to see it from my side as well. I’m scared to–”

“How long have we been trying to have a baby, Philile? How long have I been trying while you knew very well that you were on birth control!?”

Mxolisi is shouting all of a sudden. His outbursts happen often, but she has never gotten used to them. She is always startled and goes mute; fails to respond to his questions.

“Just look at you. You can’t even answer me!” Mxolisi slaps her across the face. The force is so great that it splits open her lip again.

“You don’t respect me! The only thing you do is lie to me! I paid way too much money for your lobolo! I will never be ruled by you when I paid so much for you!”

Mxolisi slaps her across the face again as she tries to raise her head and plead with him. She is sent flying to the floor.

“You said you’ll never hit me again, Mxo!” she screams.

“You don’t respect me! That’s why I’m hitting you!”

“And then you think I’ll ever let you get me pregnant? I’ll never bring a child into a home as violent as this! Yes, I am on birth control pills because I wanted to see you change your behaviour before we bring a child into this home.”

Mxolisi is taken aback; pauses his assault. Philile hardly ever speaks out, answers him back.

“You even have the nerve to talk back to me! To justify this rubbish!” Mxolisi yells and storms out of the room.

Philile is sure he is going to look for something that will hurt her worse than his hands. She doesn’t wait to find out.

***

Tell us: Should Philile have told Mxo that she was going on the contraceptive pill, and why? Or is it hopeless to tell him anything?