It seemed like Dena always knew Shep. They’d gone to the same junior high. Shep was the star the rest of the kids revolved around. The cutest boy in the school. Quarterback on the football team. Always moving through the halls with his big group of friends. Dena always knew Shep, but for a long time Shep didn’t even know Dena existed, at least that’s what she thought.

Dena was quiet and liked to study. She didn’t attend weekend football games because her father needed her at home. She was on the swimming team and was a member of the chess club. She didn’t like big groups of people where only superficial things were discussed. She had a handful of close friends, people who thought like her. People who were nothing like Shepard Campbell.

In high school, Terrence Polanski, an unlikely friend of Shep’s, was in Dena’s Advanced English class. One day he saw Dena reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. He leaned across the aisle when the teacher stepped out of the room and asked, “Is it any good?”

Dena looked up over the book. “Yes, it’s incredible.”

“I like her poetry,” he said.

Dena looked at this boy who she’d hardly ever noticed before. She knew him, of course, he was usually at the top of their class. Brilliant was a word often associated with him. He was so small, like puberty hadn’t arrived to him yet, though they were already sixteen. He wore huge glasses that hung out on each side of his face and despite his obvious lack of attributes; he had an odd sort of arrogance that said none of that mattered. She’d been surprised to see him in Advanced English since he was usually only keen on science subjects. “You read poetry?” she asked.

“Yes. Why? Are you surprised?”

“A bit.”

“There’s a symposium on Carl Sandberg’s poetry at The Rec next Saturday. Maybe you’d like to go with me.”

Dena was intrigued by this odd boy with his love for poetry. “Sure,” she said.

Saturday they met at the Rec. Dena was surprised to see Terrence in a suit. “You look good,” she said.

“Thanks.”

The poetry was good and they went for ice cream afterwards, sitting in the park across form the ice cream shop. “You’re kind of an odd guy,” Dena said.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’re so smart but you hang out with Shepard Campbell.”

“So?”

“What do you two have in common?”

“He’s more than what people think. It’s important to look deeper than what people show the world to really see who people are.”

Dena was once again surprised by Terrence.

“I like you,” he said. “And I think if you give me enough time, you’ll look past my exterior and you’ll have no choice but to like me too.”

Dena laughed. She did like Terrence but she doubted she’d ever like him as a boyfriend, the way he wanted her to like him. The spark just wasn’t there. They were similar in many ways. Both intelligent. Both introverts. She tried to tell him in so many ways that it would never be like that. In all the ways except for saying it right out. She couldn’t do that. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings. She liked him too much to do that. But they had a lot in common and she was fascinated by the way he thought about things.

One day they were eating lunch together, going over their essays on King Lear for Advanced English. Dena ate an apple while leaning over Terrence’s essay. “I really like your introduction,” Dena said. “You write so succinctly.”

“Thanks.” Terrence looked up at her, his face changed, suddenly uncertian. “What are you doing Friday?”

“Nothing,” she said looking down, still reading his essay.

“I’m having a party at my house. I thought maybe you’d like to come.” His voice sounded so nervous. Terrence was never nervous.

“Sure. Why? What’s the big deal?”

“No…nothing. I just want you to come. Say you’ll come.”

“Okay… I’ll come. You don’t need to get all serious.”

That Friday, Dena snuck out of the house after her father fell asleep. He didn’t believe in parties. Even movies meant being home at ten and there was no way she’d be able to make that curfew going to a party, so she decided it was better to just keep her father out of it.

By the time she got to Terrence’s house the party was already on. People were in the house and spilling out into the yard even though it was a cold February night. As she walked up to the door, Terrence came running out of the house. “Oh you’re here. Good. I’m so glad you made it.”

He took her hand and led her up the sidewalk. She didn’t feel comfortable having him hold her hand, so pulled it away. He looked at her but said nothing. Inside was crowded and hot, now she knew why people didn’t mind the coldness of outside. The music was loud too. She followed Terrence into the kitchen where it was quieter. “You want some punch?” he asked.

She knew it had alcohol in and she’d never drunk alcohol before, but she was feeling free and a little bit dangerous tonight. “Okay…sure.”

As Terrence was pouring her punch, Shep Campbell came in. “Hey T, great party!” he said in his loud way. “So is this your girlfriend you keep talking about?”

He held out his hand to Dena. Before Terrence could answer Dena said, “Not girlfriend, just friend… who’s a girl.”

“Is that so?” Shep said. Terrence handed Dena her punch and then left the kitchen without saying anything else. It was not the most elegant way to let Terrence know she wasn’t interested in him like that, but it was a way and now it was done. She’d go and speak to him later. She’d make it better later.

She shook Shep’s hand, and he didn’t let hers go. “Do you go to North High?”

“No,” Dena said smiling. “I go to West.”

“You go to West High School? I go there.”

“Yeah, I know.” Surprisingly, Dena found she didn’t want to leave this conversation. She’d always thought Shep Campbell was silly and uninteresting, as shallow as they come. But there was something endearing about him too she realised. He was very cute, but not in a show off way. In a sort of clumsy, puppy way. She felt like he didn’t really understand things, didn’t get the ways of the world. He was just happy with a happiness that blinded him to the fact that not everyone was. She felt scared for him, he seemed so vulnerable and innocent. Dena never felt just happy, even when she was happy it was laced with worry or strings of sadness and she found this person who could be purely, genuinely happy to be a relief. She wondered about the simplicity of it.

For her, life was about responsibility and accomplishment. She enjoyed herself, but not in the carefree way she saw Shep do. Shep played. She, occasionally, between all of her obligations, relaxed. But playing was not really part of her life, she hardly remembered if it ever had been.

“No way! You go to West High? Terrence never told me that. I’ve never seen you there.”

“Yes…well…” She would not mention that they’d also gone to the same junior high together. That would make things even worse.

“I would have noticed a beautiful girl like you.”

Looking back, Dena wondered if with those words Shep set down everything, set down the entire path that they would follow together. Once he said that, she knew she might have followed him to the ends of the earth. No one had ever called her beautiful before. Her father, yes, but no one that mattered. She was too thin. And had long, brown hair that insisted on being curly no matter how many hot irons she used on it. She thought her eyes were too big and not the right shade of blue. Not the cornflower blue of Shep’s eyes that matched perfectly with his mop of blonde hair. Her eyes were dark blue. Not the right colour at all. But at that moment a popular boy, the most popular boy in the school, told her she was beautiful and that was all that mattered. In Shep Campbell’s eyes she was beautiful. Everything shifted then.

“Let’s go outside,” Shep suggested. “It’s roasting in here.”

Dena followed him to a porch at the back of the house. There was a swing at the end and he sat down on it. “Have a seat,” he said indicating the other end of the swing.

Dena sat down. She’d only had three sips of the punch, but she could already feel it warming her up inside. Loosening things. She sat down and pushed the swing with her feet. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back feeling the swaying of the swing through her body. They swung for a while and then Shep said, “I lied.”

Dena’s heart dropped. Lied? Lied about what? Was he going to say he lied that she was beautiful just to get her out here alone on the swing? Dena drank down the rest of her punch in one go. Shep stood up suddenly, awkwardly, and snatched the cup. “Let me go and fill that.”

Confused, Dena watched him go in the backdoor. This Shep was not the one she’d known all of these years. He seemed uneasy. She wondered where Terrence was. She was scared for Shep to return. She didn’t want to hear what he lied about. She hoped her father hadn’t decided to check her in her room. She waited, swinging for a few minutes and then Shep was back.

He sat back down and for the first time ever, Dena thought he looked worried. “I lied about not knowing you. I know you. We even live close to each other… on Milwaukee Avenue. I know your house too.”

What? Dena was gobsmacked. She never in a million years would have guessed that Shep Campbell even knew she existed, let alone knew where she lived. “You do?”

“Yes. I didn’t want you to think I was some kind of stalker, so I lied. Of course I know you. Everyone does. You’re smart and beautiful and so mysterious. I was seriously bummed when Terrence said you two were dating. He knew I had a crush on you, but once he said you two were together I tried to stop thinking about you. Unsuccessfully.”

Dena sat back on the swing. She needed time to take in all of this information. In the matter of a few sentences, she went from being a serious, nerdy, studious girl to being the one all the boys were watching? That can’t be, she thought. Why had she never known anything about this before? And now Terrence was telling everyone that they were dating? That situation was worse than she’d imagined. She’d really need to talk to Terrence later. She drank some more punch. This night was turning into something else all together. It was as if she’d walked through some magic door and entered a parallel universe that was sort of like her life but not. “Really?”

“Really what?”

“Everyone thinks I’m smart and beautiful and mysterious?”

“Well I do anyway, I always have.”

“But you’ve never even said hi. You bounce around with all of your friends making a lot of noise. You have your ring of girls always following, hoping you’ll choose one of them. I never ever saw an inkling of what you’re saying.” She was starting to wonder if he was lying again. “Perhaps you’re just making this all up just now.”

His eyes looked hurt. “No! It’s not like that. You can ask Terrence. He’ll tell you. I think that may be why he was telling people you two were dating. He knew how much I liked you. He always likes showing me up like that.”

“Really?” She was finding the entire thing difficult to accept. Terrence showing up Shep? Shep having a crush on her? It was crazy! That didn’t sound like the Terrence she knew. Or the Shep she knew either.

Shep took her free hand in his. He looked so sincere. “Yes, really.”

A slow song was playing in the house, the music drifting out though an open window. The words of Baby, I Love Your Way could just barely be heard drifting in the cold night air. “Let’s go dance,” Shep said.

Dena got up and took his outstretched hand though she’d never danced with a boy in her life. She suspected her bravery came from the second glass of punch. She seemed to be hovering a few feet above her body.

He led her through the kitchen and back into the crowded, hot living room. Only a few couples were dancing. Most people were standing around the edges watching. Did the room become quieter when Shep put his arms around Dena’s waist? It seemed that way anyhow. Dena wasn’t sure how long the song was but it seemed to go on and on. She could only feel Shep’s chest against her cheek and his hands holding her firmly around the waist. They danced and Shep hummed the lyrics into her ear.

Suddenly the day turns into night

Far away from the city

But don’t hesitate

‘cuz your love won’t wait

Dena was sure he sang the song to her. She was sure too that this was the best night of her life- ever. If it all ended then, at that moment, in Shep’s arms, her hearing his heart in one ear and his singing in the other, she’d be fine. She’d be happy, the happiest any girl could ever be.

The song finished and Shep moved away from her, letting go of her waist and suddenly her legs felt like spaghetti. She wobbled a bit, but Shep reached in and caught her. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes…I…I think I drank too much punch.”

“It’s okay. Let me drive you home.”

“Drive? No, my father wouldn’t approve. You’ve been drinking this stuff too.”

“No, I can’t drink. I have football. The coach doesn’t allow it.”

Shep led Dena out to the car. He opened the door and got her seated and belted. Dena was thinking he was far more responsible than he let on. As the car started to move, she closed her eyes. Everything was spinning too fast. She hoped she wouldn’t be sick.

“I had a very good night, “she said out loud but really to herself. “I never in a thousand years could have imagined a night like this.”

“Me too.”

Dena hovered between sleep and awake, and listened to Shep still humming the Peter Frampton song. “It’s nice.”

“What is?” he asked.

“Your singing. I like it.”

“I hope you like more about me than that,” he teased.

“We’ll see,” she said, opening one eye to have a look at him.

The car stopped. Shep jumped out and ran around to her side. “What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m going to take you up to your door.”

“No! I can’t do that.”

“Your father doesn’t like you coming home with boys?”

“No! No, that’s not it. Well… yeah…he doesn’t like me coming home with boys…but that’s not the problem right now. I’m not out. I’m home already!” Dena was struggling to make him understand. She put her finger to her lip. “Shhh!”

She took his hand and led him past the front door. They crept along the side of the house and to the open window of the downstairs bathroom. “Give me a boost,” she whispered.

Shep bent down and made a step for her out of his hands. She climbed on and he pushed her through the window. She landed clumsily on the other side but bounced up right away. She poked her face through the window. “Thanks!”

Shep smiled. “Can I call you?”

“Of course,” she said.

In her room, she pushed the pillow shaped Dena back to its correct place on the bed and lay down. She didn’t fall asleep until she heard the first birds announcing a new day outside of her window. She lay in her bed thinking about everything, but most of all, thinking about Shep Campbell and how a person very much like herself could easily fall in love with him.

***

Robbie danced across the stage in her bear costume. No one knew it was Robbie under that big furry head except for Dena and her father but it didn’t matter. Dena was sure she was the best bear in the history of bears, even if the play was Little Red Riding Hood and the bear only had a walk-on part. Robbie came out of the woods and said, “Grrr!” and Little Red Riding Hood ran away scared to her grandmother’s house. The bear went back into the woods and was never seen again.

Afterwards, Mac and Dena stood in the reception area of the school hall drinking the watered down squash and attempting to eat the hardest biscuits known to humanity, when Robbie came skipping over to them. “Did you see me? I was the bear.”

“Yes, Pumpkin, we saw you. You were great!” Dena gave Robbie a hug.

A girl shouted for Robbie. She was the girl who’d been playing Little Red Riding Hood. Robbie took Dena’s hand. “Come Mommy, I want you to meet Liza.”

The little girl stood with a slightly chubby woman and a short man.

“Liza, meet my mom,” Robbie said. The girl stepped forward and shook Dena’s hand. “And this is my grandpa.” Robbie indicated Mac and the serious little girl with jet black straight hair shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you both,” Liza said. “Robbie, these are my parents.”

“Nice to meet you all,” the man said. He picked up Liza and kissed her on the cheek. “I think Little Red Riding Hood needs some ice cream.”

“Really, Daddy?” the serious little girl’s eyes lit up.

“You were wonderful tonight,” he said.

“Yes, she was,” Dena said.

They walked away and Dena watched Robbie waving good-bye to Liza. Her eyes followed them until the small family went out the door. Mac ran his hand over his granddaughter’s unruly locks. “I think this bear needs a burger. How about we go to Little Big-wigs?”

Little Big-wigs was Robbie’s favourite place. It had an indoor jumping castle and model trains brought your food to the table. Without much enthusiasm she said, “Okay, let me get my bear costume.”

When she left, Mac turned to Dena. “What do you think that was about? She nearly looked like she was going to cry.”

“I don’t know,” Dena said though she was pretty sure she did.

Later after tucking Robbie into bed, Dena sat down next to her. “So, I like Liza.”

“Yes, me too. She’s very nice. And smart too. She’s like the smartest girl in the school.”

“Was something troubling you tonight? You seemed upset after meeting her parents.”

“I don’t know, maybe.” Robbie’s face fell. “I felt a bit sad I think.”

“Sad? Why?”

“I just think she’s lucky. I just wondered what it would be like having a daddy too. A daddy like Liza’s. That’s all.”

Dena steadied her voice. She didn’t want Robbie to see how she was really feeling. “You have Grandpa.”

“Yeah, I know. But I think a daddy is different.”

“Yes, I guess you’re right.” Dena took a deep breath and tried to keep from crying. “I love you, Pumpkin. You know that right?”

“Yes.” Robbie nodded her head, and then looked again at Dena. “Don’t be sad, Mommy. We’ll be okay.”

Dena hugged her daughter and switched off the light before she could see the tears in her eyes. “Goodnight, Pumpkin.”

“Goodnight, Mommy.”

Dena closed the door halfway and went into her room. She sat on the bed and cried quietly into her hands. She realised she needed to do something. It was not right to leave her daughter hurting when she had the power to make things right. She knew that now. She needed to talk to Shep.

***

Mac was already up and busy making breakfast when Dena came downstairs. His years in the firehouse made him an excellent cook. He was also up at the crack of dawn each day, no matter if it was a Saturday or not.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Mac said when Dena stumbled through the kitchen door looking for coffee.

She kissed her father on the cheek and pulled down her huge coffee mug. It had a big red apple and “Best Teacher Ever” written on it. Her class a few years ago gave it to her, when she was still in the classroom teaching English to high school students. She sat down at the table and pulled the newspaper to her.

Another gang shooting three streets over from Springs. Dena quickly went through the article to see if she spotted any of her students’ names. There were more than a thousand kids in the school, so she couldn’t be certain, but she suspected both the shooter and the victim were drop-outs if the reporter had her facts right. Still, the victim was a 16 year old boy. Someone’s son. Someone’s brother. When would this daily slaughter stop?

“So did you get anything from Robbie last night?” Mac asked setting a plate of scrambled eggs and pork sausages down in front of her.

Dena looked up at her father. “Thanks. No, not really. Maybe she was a little jealous about Liza getting the lead in the play. I don’t know. We’ll see.”

Mac had sonar when it came to Dena lying, but he left it. He wasn’t digging in that bees’ nest, not this early in the day. “So what have you got planned for the day?” he asked changing the topic.

“Well, I need to go into school for a few hours. Robbie has the birthday party. We need to go buy the present, then I thought I’d drop her off and go back to school. Go and collect her when I’m finished.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He sat down with his breakfast opposite his daughter. He pulled out the sports pages from the bottom of the paper. “I’m meeting up with some of the fellows this afternoon. You two going to be okay for lunch?”

“Sure, Pa. We’ll get something when we’re out shopping. You don’t need to worry about us.”