They got to the prison and were taken into a long, thin room. There were booths, each with two telephones, the inmates on one side the visitors on the other. Every booth was full. The PI, Bob Williams, sat across from them. His face was skeletal, a grizzled beard, and tired eyes. He looked to be in his sixties or a very rough late fifties. He coughed into a dirty handkerchief every few minutes as he spoke.

“So we’re here,” Shep said.

“I see that.”

“You said you have something you want to tell me.”

“You need to keep this between us. Quiet and all. This guy’s got connections everywhere. Even in here.”

“Who? Jongman?”

“Yeah.”

“I always thought Terrence Polanski hired you. That’s what you testified at the trial,” Shep said.

Bob Williams laughed. “Listen kid, if you don’t know this by now, most trials, especially those down there in Chicago, have little to nothing to do with the truth.”

“So Terrence didn’t hire you?” Shep asked.

“Nope, Jongman. I did a lot of work for Jongman then. Different stuff.”

“Private investigation work?”

“I’m no PI. That was all a scam. They needed me to find that money. Jongman doesn’t like losing his investments. PIs need to follow rules. We didn’t want to be curtailed that way if you get what I mean.”

“So did you find the money?” Shep asked.

“Nope. He called me off almost before I got really started. I took a few trips to the Caymans and then it was over. All of a sudden. They called me for the trial after a while, I said what they wanted me to say, and that was it. I got my money and I was on my merry way.”

Dena interrupted. “So did you find evidence that Shep stole the money?”

“I don’t know what I found. I just did what I was told. I went down to the Caymans, I picked up some papers from the bank. One time I collected a parcel from a man and the last time the video tape from the same guy. What it all meant, I couldn’t tell you.”

“But you said you had something for me,” Shep said. “Something important you wanted me to have.”

“Not here. I’ve got a friend in Chicago. You go to him. He’ll want some money. He’ll tell you how much. But you go to him with this.” He looked behind him to where the guard stood and when he was sure he was looking somewhere else, he secretly slid a paper under the edge of the glass. “You call him on that number. Meet him. He’ll give you the tape, the one from the bank.”

“I thought you handed it over to the police for the trial.”

“Listen, I know thugs like Jongman. You need to cover your ass, take a bit of insurance or they’ll throw you under the bus if they need to. They can turn on you. Why do you think I’m in here? He put me here. He’s big and dirty as they come.”

“So the tape? What about it?”

“Take it to a specialist, I have a feeling it will teach you a few things.”

A bell rang and the prison guard in the corner said, “Time up.”

Bob Williams stood up. “I need to go.”

“Thanks for seeing us,” Shep said.

“Listen man, I don’t know if you done it or not. I always sort of suspected not. I’m sorry if it turns out you did time you weren’t supposed to do. That’s murder, I know it. Worse thing doing time for a crime you’re innocent of. I’m sorry if I was part of that shit.”

He stood up carefully. He was sicker than he made out. Maybe that was it. Maybe he wanted to correct some things before he died. Dena and Shep watched the guard on the other side of the glass lead him away.

*****

The prison was further from the city than they had expected and it was already dark when they got to Milwaukee with another two hours driving ahead of them and it was starting to snow.

“Let’s spend the night. I have some money I’ll pay for a hotel,” Shep said.

Dena had to admit she was exhausted. She hardly slept the night before after the excitement of the ice skating. “Yeah, okay I’ll need to call home.”

They found a motel and while Shep went in to sort out some rooms Dena called her father. “Listen Pa, we’ve decided to sleep over in Milwaukee. It took longer than we thought and it’s snowing this side.”

“This side too. Better you come in the morning. How’d it go at the prison?”

“I don’t know. We’ll see. Things are looking more complicated than they were before. Lots of questions but not a lot of answers.”

“I thought as much. Okay we’ll see you tomorrow.”

Shep returned to the car. “Our room is that one. Number 15.” He pointed to a door under the staircase.

“And the other room?” Shep looked confused.

“You got two rooms right?”

“I can’t afford two rooms. I just got out of prison remember?” Shep said.

“So you expect us to share?” Dena asked.

“They said there are two single beds. We’ll be fine.”

Dena looked at him. “If you’re thinking about anything, you can forget it right now.”

“Nothing. I’m thinking about nothing.” But there was something in his eyes that said otherwise.

Dena parked the car and headed back toward the reception. “Where are you going?” Shep asked.

“To get another room.”

Dena came back with the key for room 14. Shep was sitting on the hood of the car waiting. “You didn’t have to do that,” Shep said. “I’m an honourable guy.”

Dena ignored him and opened her room. There was one double bed. “Oh really?” she said opening the door wider so he could see the bed.

Shep opened his room and there was a double bed too. “The guy lied.”

“Okay.” Dena got her purse from the car and walked toward the room. “Goodnight Shep.”

“Goodnight, Dena.”

She closed her door. She hadn’t brought an overnight bag, having not planned to stay over. She took off her coat, sweater and jeans and just wore her t-shirt. The bathroom was well stocked with soap and a traveller’s case of disposable toothbrush and toothpaste.

She climbed under the blanket and started channel surfing. She found a movie station. She watched the end of some action flick waiting for the next advertised movie, one of her favourites, Love Actually. That would occupy her until she felt sleepy.

Dena wasn’t sure what she thought about what the Bob Williams had said. He hadn’t really told them anything that made Shep innocent. He had, though, made her rethink a lot of what was going on at Diamond Investments. This Jongman seemed to be bad news and yet even now Terrence associated with him. He’d helped him start the business, was involved when things went wrong, and seemed to still be involved in Terrence’s life, perhaps in his new business as well. And Terrence had been less than honest about Jongman’s involvement with Diamond Investments. Why?

Why was Bob Williams hired and then reined back? The story at the time was that the PI had found everything. But now that seems to not have been the case. Everything was very murky. Could it really be true that Shep was innocent? Had he been telling the truth all along? The evidence had been so solid. Dena still believed he was involved. She suspected he also was not telling her everything. Nothing seemed right. Everywhere she looked were murky corners and unanswered questions.

There was a knock on her door. Dena got up, put the chain across, and opened it.

“I thought you might be hungry.” Shep held up a pizza and a six pack of beer.

Dena opened the door. “Come in. But you eat and go. And you’ll have to be quiet my movie is starting.”

She opened two beers and put the rest in the tiny bar fridge. Then she sat down on the bed, her back against the headrest. Shep took off his coat and shoes. “Can I join you or do I have to sit on the floor?”

“Get on the bed.” Dena smiled.

Shep took a big swig of his beer and grabbed a slice of the pepperoni pizza. “So what’s the movie?”

“Love Actually.”

“Is that the British one with the prime minister falling in love with the maid?” He rolled his eyes.

“Yes, why?”

“How likely is that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe more likely than you think. Love doesn’t care about positions and money.” Dena took a bite of the pizza. “Wow, this is nice.”

“I know a place,” Shep teased.

“Is it?”

Shep laughed and ignored her comment. “So now the practical, sensible Dena Leary is a big romantic?” he teased.

“Maybe.”

“So how many dates have you been on since I’ve been in prison?”

Dena got up for two more beers, throwing the empties in the bin. “What does that matter?”

“I’m just asking. Just curious.” Shep sat back and ate his pizza as if he were uninterested.

“I don’t know. A few.”

“With who?”

“What is this the inquisition? We broke up, it’s none of your business.”

Shep sat back and ate pizza as the movie started. Dena loved the opening scene at the airport, all sorts of people greeting their loved ones. Simple everyday love in all of its forms. She looked at Shep. She loved him, but it was not simple, far from it. How she wished for simple every day love. His hand lay on the bed next to him. How she wished she could reach over and touch it, to take it in hers. How she wished she could reach over and kiss him. Let him take her in his arms.

Shep turned and looked at her and saw her looking at him. He moved his hand to cover hers. He took it in his own. Dena didn’t pull away. She looked at him, so wanting him to be who he looked like. That person she loved deep in her heart. The person who loved her back. She wanted him to be that person.

He took her hand in his and held it in his lap. It felt so right. So simple and lovely. He kept holding her hand with his and then put his arm around her and pulled her to him. Dena did not pull away. Not now, not tonight, she told herself. On this snowy night, magical with kind love in the air, no not tonight. Tonight she would lay her head on his shoulder. She would feel his strong arm keeping her safe. She would let his hand hold hers and complete a connection. Tonight she would let love be simple. Just for tonight. She would relax, she would let her guard down, just for tonight.

They sat like that watching the movie as if in a trance. Could it have been the salve of the simple uncomplicated love on the screen that let them have reprieve? Dena thought maybe that was the case. Shep held her and said nothing, neither one said anything. But it felt right. Dena was sure it was right.

The movie finished and as the credits rolled over there were the people at the airport again, people happy to be together again, to be reunited. And as if it were the simplest thing in the world, Shep leaned down to Dena. She let him come closer. He touched his lips gently to hers. She knew this kiss. It was the one she longed for everyday for ten years. It was familiar and safe. She let him kiss her and kiss her again. He pulled her on top of him and kissed her deeply. She let him kiss her. The simple kind of love the magic of the night allowed for. And it felt oh so good, it felt right. He held her there. He held her and stroked her hair and she allowed it. It felt right and perfect. And time waited. Everything waited. It stood back and allowed for this. Simple love had power bigger than everything, bigger than the universe and the stars. So everything stood back and waited. Everything stood still.

Then it was over. Dena pulled away. She sat on the side of the bed, her feet firmly on the floor. “You need to go,” she said.

“I know,” Shep said. “But I know too, it won’t be forever. I know that now.”

He left closing the door gently behind him. The magic was gone. It had seeped out through the open door into the cold wintry night and only a sad, lonely hole remained where it was. Dena sat on the side of the bed and let the tears roll down her cheeks. There was nothing to do when the magic was gone. Now everything moved in and it was how it always had been.

*****

Dena sat at the restaurant waiting for Grace. She was thirty minutes late. She’d sent an SMS saying she was on her way so Dena waited. They agreed to meet near Grace’s school in one of Chicago’s a rich neighbourhoods. A restaurant in the mall. Dena watched people passing loaded down with shopping bags. It was three weeks until Christmas and the madness was in full swing. She never understood it. This crazy business of buying and buying at Christmas. Dena had taught Robbie that Christmas meant sharing. They each made or bought one present for each other. Santa brought one present for Robbie Christmas morning and a few sweets in her stocking. That was it. It was about being together with the ones you loved, not maxing out your credit cards buying the latest gadgets and bling then regretting it in January when the bills arrived.

Grace popped around the entrance of the restaurant and Dena waved so she would see her. She smiled and made her way to the table.

“Sorry! We’re doing a big Christmas play thing for parents. I stupidly said I’d do the set. I didn’t know the director was about as decisive as a worm! God, she changes her mind every two seconds. I have made three different stars of Bethlehem and she is still not satisfied. She says she wants it a bit more serious. What does that even mean? How is a star serious?”

“Sit. You need a drink and I think a big slice of chocolate cheesecake. I’m drinking white Russians how does that sound?” Dena asked.

“Perfect,” Grace said collapsing into the booth as Dena flagged down the waitress.

“Is it me or is Christmas getting bigger and bigger each year?” Dena asked.

“It’s not you. It’s madness! I can’t take it anymore. I told Taylor, Christmas is his job this year.”

Taylor was a no nonsense guy. Dena could only imagine how Christmas was going to go at the Wainwright house. “I see socks for everyone,” Dena said.

“Good! Those boys need to learn that money does not grow on trees. We work very hard, Taylor and me. And yet the other day Junior says he wants a motorbike. A motorbike? Can you even imagine? Taylor and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. Junior didn’t appreciate that but I didn’t give a rat’s ass. These kids need to learn.” The waitress arrived with her drink and menus. “Oh god- you’re a saviour!”

Dena sipped at her drink and went over the menu. “What’s good here?”

“The chicken pot pie is homemade, very nice. And they’ve got good burgers.” Grace looked over her menu and set it down. “So you never got the chance to tell me about Milwaukee and how it went.”

“I don’t know really. We went out to the prison and saw the PI. But he didn’t say anything that really mattered. Except he wasn’t really a private investigator and that he was hired by this Jongman fellow. He seemed afraid of Jongman, but I met him, he didn’t see that scary.”

“But isn’t that important. They lied. What does Shep think?”

“Shep thinks it’s important. He still wants to prove to me he’s innocent. I don’t know. I just feel he’s hiding something too.”

“Hiding what?”

“I think he did it. I still do. He’s just taking me all over to prove something that’s not there. It just seems staged a bit.”

“Staged? You’re so hard on this guy.” Grace knew Shep since they were kids and probably had a crush on him since then as well. She never understood Dena’s hard-line stance. She felt Dena should forgive him. “Give Shep a break, he’s trying.”

“Yeah, well….”

“Well what?”

“We spent the night in Milwaukee.”

“Together? In the same room?”

“No! Not together.”

Grace looked at Dena. “Okay tell me. Something happened. I can tell. Spill!”

“Nothing happened really. But… we held hands.”

Grace laughed. “You sound like a school kid. Held hands?”

“I know it sounds silly, but it’s something. And we kissed.” Just speaking the words had Dena feeling it all again. That night in the hotel never left her mind. It just kept playing in her head. She liked to relive it over and over. She felt so alive, so wonderful.

“You kissed. Good. That’s progress.”

Dena shook her head. “No, Grace. It’s not going to happen. It was a slip. It shouldn’t have even happened. It’s given Shep hope where there is none. I can’t go through that all again. I can’t. You know how it was. For a few months there I was sure it was true people could die from a broken heart. It was only Robbie growing inside of me that gave me hope. I can’t do it again. I need to keep moving forward.”

Grace put her hands over Dena’s where they lay on the table. “I know, Dena. It was awful. He made a mistake, he lost your trust. He knows this. That’s why he’s trying to find a way to make it up to you.”

“He shouldn’t he’s wasting his time.”

Grace shook her head. “I don’t think he is. You can’t shit a shitter, Dena. When you said that you two kissed, your face lit up. You never stopped loving that man. There’s a kind of love, a practical love. That one needs certain things. It needs all of the boxes ticked. It has a rational plan and that plan must be followed. In practical love if someone steals $15 million and goes to prison for ten years, it’s done. The boxes, the list, they’re gone. I’ll be honest, that’s what Taylor and I’ve got. It’s good, I’m not saying it’s not good. I love him. But it’s not the love you and Shep have. You try to pretend your love follows the rules. That it must. Once the rules are broken, it’s over. You move on. But show me evidence. Have you moved on?”

“Grace, that’s not it…”

“No, it is it. You and Shep don’t have that kind of love. You never have. I know you Dena, you’re my oldest, dearest friend. I know you better than you know you. You never stopped loving that man. All through everything. I heard your words. They were lies even if you didn’t know it. You are not physically able to stop loving that man. It’s not sane. It’s not practical. But, my dear, that is how it is.”

Dena took a deep breath. Was it really like that? Was she tied to him for ever? “Maybe, Grace.”

Dena picked at the chicken pot pie the waitress brought. “It felt so good. Just him touching me. I felt like I’d gone home.” She began to cry quietly. “What am I going to do? I can’t be with him. I know this. I can’t. I don’t trust him. But I also can’t be without him. I want him so bad. And I keep trying to remind myself what he did to me. I keep drudging up the pain, trying to feel it slash at me again. I don’t know what to do, Grace.”

Grace came around to Dena’s side of the booth and put her arm around her friend. “Just wait. Take everything slowly, carefully. But don’t make rules that you know might need to be broken. Just go very, very slowly. You need to be brave. You need to be courageous. The answers will come, the way will be shown.”

“Do you think so, Grace?”

“I do. I really do.

Dena hoped Grace was right. She’d take her advice. She wouldn’t put up rules that Shep would break. And she’d take down the barriers. She’d move carefully and slowly. She’d wait for the right path to emerge. And she would be brave.