There is a message back from Etienne:

Hi Kago. My son Noah is three and the girl

Jordan is four months old.

I feel better knowing their names and their ages. After all, they are a part of the man I love with all my heart. Even if I don’t want to think about who their mother is!

Rabbit in the Headlights – Scene Five

Lacey de Winter is checking through a rail of fur jackets.

Her agent rings. “Congrats, Lacey! You have the part in the new horror movie, Highly Strung. You’ll play the part of the violin teacher. Shooting starts Monday.”

Smiling, Lacey carries a jacket to the check-out counter to pay: a fluffy white designer jacket with Swarovski crystals sparkling round the wrist-bands.

THE END.

It takes me a moment to sort out the story in my head. So – so this means that the very first scene of Lacey in the garden, in her furry white jacket, drugged out of her skull, is actually the last scene chronologically, right? The rehab, the best-seller book, the TV interview all happened before the cops found her and took her away.

So – so that means even after she’d written a book telling everyone how they could stay sober, Lacey herself relapsed. So, clearly she didn’t really have the answer at all. And this time isn’t any different from all the times before!

Poor girl – to have so little self-awareness. To be in such denial about the reality of her life. Wow! I told you these twists can be nasty.

I go to bed with a mug of hot milk. But I cannot sleep. There is a voice whispering in my head: And what about you, Kaz? What about the reality of your life?

I recognise that voice. It is my old teacher, Mr Tsiana. That’s exactly the kind of thing he used to say. “And what about you, precious youngsters? What about the reality of your lives? Remember, a life unexamined is a life not worth living.”

In the dark hours, I admit it to myself at last: I am lonely, lonely as hell. Unhappy too, apart from the brief times I spend with Etienne. That is the reality of my life. It is time I stopped pretending: to myself and to Etienne. It is time to do something about this.

But what?

Should I break things off with him? But no, I need him as much as I need oxygen. Life without him would be unbearable.

Or should I give him an ultimatum: leave Mary and be with me all the time or else it’s over? But no, he is a good man. He would never leave his wife when she has two young children to look after. And I would never be cruel enough to demand such a thing of him.

In the dark, I toss and turn. There seems to be no solution, no way that I can stop feeling lonely and unhappy.

Except …

Except … It is two in the morning when I finally find my answer. And what a perfect answer it is! Smiling, I finally fall asleep.

Etienne phones early the next morning, whispering again. “Expect me tonight, my darling. Noah is better now; his temperature is back to normal. So I’ve told Mary I have to be at an IT workshop in Bloemfontein. Order in some Chinese, OK? You know how I love Chinese. Spare ribs, OK?”

Tonight seems light years away. I can’t wait for Etienne to come so that I can explain my perfect answer to him. I just know he will agree it’s a wonderful idea.

***

Tell us: What do you think Kaz’s perfect solution is?