Etienne is flabbergasted by what I tell him. “What do you mean, you can’t see me tomorrow afternoon? I already told Mary I’m jogging! Maybe I can stretch it to an hour and a half.”
“I’m going to yoga with my friend Gorata,” I answer.
“Don’t do this to me, Kaz! Don’t torture me this way! Is it because of the baby? I mean, if you are so desperate, maybe we can think about having one together. Will that make you feel better? Will that make you change your mind?”
Oh yes, he is a master manipulator. For all of ten seconds, I am ready to cave in.
But – but what if I have his baby and then he treats me like he treats Mary? Finds some other young girl to cheat with, telling her how boring and messy and passionless I’ve become?
What was it I heard once? ‘The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.’ Yes! That wasn’t Socrates. That was Dr Phil, that TV psychologist. He said it often and it makes sense.
“Sorry, Etienne, we’re done,” I say. And I’m feeling stronger, and more sure of myself, with each moment. “I refuse to be a thief. I refuse to steal someone else’s man.”
He’s crying, I think. But I disconnect anyway. I take my African violet pot plant from the lounge and dump it in the bin. Even though it has just formed a new bud.
*****
There beside Gorata at the yoga class on Saturday afternoon, I am feeling fine. The atmosphere in the yoga room is calm and peaceful – a lot like Mr Tsiana’s class.
“Breathe in,” says Yogi Troy. He is an elderly white man with a wild grey moustache. But he reminds me of Mr Tsiana. “Breathe in all your hopes.”
Gorata smiles at me and whispers, “My hopes are all for you today, Kaz.”
“Now breathe out,” Yogi Troy instructs. “Breathe out all your sadness and stress and disappointment.”
I breathe out, saying Etienne’s name over and over in my mind. Letting go of my longing and love for him. It is such a strange feeling, as if my mind and my body are being cleansed and freed.
Is it possible? Can I get over him and move on with my life? And find happiness somewhere else?
Gorata is right. There are some really cute guys in the class. Especially the guy across from me, in his turquoise top. His arm muscles bulge as folds his body into some complicated yoga position. Meanwhile I am still trying to do some position called ‘Child’s Play’ and I can’t even get that right.
But the guy looks into my eyes for a long moment, as if he can see the real me. As if I could be his missing half. And then he gives me a slow, warm smile.
“Ooo, Kaz!” Gorata whispers. “I think Temba has his eye on you, girlfriend. He’s a brilliant guy, one of the best here. What do you reckon? Shall I introduce you after class?”
But I have only one question about Temba. “Is he married?”
Gorata is indignant. “Of course not! Would I ever introduce you to a married man? I know you’re not the kind of girl to want some other woman’s husband.”
And then we have to stop whispering because Yogi Troy is giving us a stern look.
***
Tell us: Is Kaz going to be alright now? Will she get over Etienne and find happiness somewhere else?
