I can see the worry in my mom’s eyes. For one mad second I want to tell her that it may be morning sickness, just to stop her worrying. But no. The thought is too frightening.

So I lie. I say, “It is probably that pie I shared with Victoria yesterday. It tasted strange.”

“Well, I hope you feel better soon, my angel,” says my mom. At least she doesn’t sound so worried now.

My angel! Mama calls me that often. Yes, and that’s what I will always call my little daughter too. It makes me feel special when my mom calls me that. And more than anything else, I want my little girl to feel special. Always. Since she is already making me feel special.

The moment I think about her, all the fear and panic disappears. And only the excitement and the joy stay behind.

At the school gates I meet up with my friends.

“Tumi, what are you smiling about so?” asks my very best friend, Victoria. She is Vincent’s sister.

“It’s a secret,” I say still smiling. “You guys will know soon enough.”

“I bet I know,” says Maria. “Oh yes, I can tell just looking at you.”

“What?” I ask. And my heart is back to pounding in my chest. If Maria knows, then soon everyone in the school will know. Maria has a heart of gold, but she is the world’s worst gossip. She just can’t help herself. And if the whole school knows, how long before my mom gets to hear it? Two of our teachers attend the same church as my mom.

“What?” I ask again. I am glaring at Maria now.

She giggles. “Don’t have a fit, girlfriend. I just reckon you have a great idea for Mr Ndwapi’s assignment. Am I right?”

I nod, lying again. This being pregnant is like being on a rollercoaster. Up and down and up and down: full of joy one minute, crazy with panic the next. I don’t know how much longer I can cope.

And there is Vincent, at the gate with his friends. He gives me a big wink when the other guys aren’t looking. It is our secret sign. I wink back at him. He is so handsome and I am so lucky he belongs to me. If he ever dumped me, my heart would break into a million pieces.

All through our Science lesson, I am thinking about Vincent. I don’t hear a word Mr Abrahamse says. But Mr Abrahamse doesn’t notice. He is getting too carried away at the white board, with his chemical formulae.

Should I tell Vincent before I tell my mom? And when shall I tell him? Surely not here at school? Maybe this weekend when we go down to the river with our friends.

But what will his reaction be? I am not sure at all.

Maybe he will be very angry. “Pregnant, Tumi? How can you be pregnant? You told me it was safe. You said it was a good time and we didn’t need to use a condom. Have you done this on purpose, just to mess up my life?”

Or maybe he will refuse to have anything more to do with me. “I’m too young to be a father. I want to have fun and enjoy being a teenager, not get dragged down by responsibilities and serious stuff. You’re on your own, Tumi. This is all your fault anyway.”

And that is true. I read up about safe times on the Internet. And when we hooked up, I was so sure it was a safe time of my monthly cycle. I mean, I sat with the calendar, carefully counting days. Then double-checking.

So yes, it is my own fault. And what if he is so angry that he breaks up with me? And I am left all alone and pregnant? How could I bear that?

But no. I don’t think so. Vincent is the most loving, decent guy. Even Victoria agrees with me and she knows him better than anyone.

So I think he will say, “It’s okay, Tumi. We will get through this together. I will be by your side all the way and we will love and care for our little baby together.”

Maybe he will even feel as excited and special as I feel. Maybe, maybe he will even ask me to marry him so that our baby can have a family. That happened with another girl from school, Mmegi. She got pregnant and her boyfriend married her straight away. But the difference was that her boyfriend was older and out of school and with a good job.

* * *

Tell us what you think: How will Vincent react to the news?