Itumeleng phoned her parents to say she was sleeping over at my house. She cried most of the night and I stayed up to comfort her. She still hasn’t decided what she is going to do about her pregnancy. And she hasn’t even mentioned how she feels about testing positive for HIV. I think she’s in shock.

I am way out of my depth and I haven’t had a moment to really process anything. But Aunt Vuyi said she will come with us to talk to Itumeleng’s parents the next day. I am so nervous.

As we walk up to Itumeleng’s front door I feel my heart beat faster. However, Aunt Vuyi coming with us has eased my anxiety a bit.

Itumeleng hasn’t said a word the whole way here, and she looks like she is ready to make a run for it at any moment. The one time I met her parents they seemed really nice, but I don’t know how they will react to this devastating news. I can’t even think about how my dad would react if it were me.

Mrs Kgosi welcomes us in with a huge smile on her face. She makes a joke about us keeping her daughter from her, and all I can manage is a strained smile. Aunt Vuyi is very cheery and makes conversation with both Mr and Mrs Kgosi, when we are all seated in the living room.

Once we have been handed drinks, Aunt Vuyi announces that we have difficult news to tell them, and they both sit up straight, ready to listen. I slowly shrink into my seat as Aunt Vuyi fills them in on what has been happening with Itumeleng.

By the end of Aunt Vuyi’s lengthy tale Mr Kgosi looks like he swallowed something bitter and Mrs Kgosi is in tears.

“So you are pregnant Itumeleng? And you have HIV?” Mr Kgosi is the first one to speak after Aunt Vuyi. Itumeleng sits quietly gazing at her feet.

“Don’t just sit there; answer me!” he shouts, making me jump.

“Yes Ntate. I am pregnant and HIV positive.”

Mrs Kgosi is sobbing uncontrollably now, while her husband glares at their daughter.

I take Itumeleng’s hand and squeeze it gently, in the hopes that she’ll gain the courage to face this whole situation. She takes a deep breath then looks her father in the eye.

“Ntate, I know that I have disappointed you and Mama and I am truly sorry. These past few months I have been making poor choices and doing things I wasn’t ready to do. I know that my choices have now embarrassed you … and I will do whatever it takes to regain your trust.”

Her mom stands up, walks to her and opens her arms. Itumeleng flings herself into them and sobs.

“My beautiful child. I wish you had spoken to me about everything that was happening. I am hurt that you felt like you couldn’t come to us about this.”

Mrs Kgosi turns her gaze to Aunt Vuyi and me and gives us a polite smile as her tears keep streaming down her face.

“Thank you for being there for our child. We really appreciate it.”

“Yes, thank you. Now please allow us to discuss this as a family. We really do appreciate all your help.” Mr Kgosi is on his feet as he speaks and that is our cue. Aunt Vuyi and I say our goodbyes and leave.

I hope they don’t punish her, because she needs their support more, I think, as we drive back home in total silence.

All I can think about is how easily this could have been my story, had I stayed in that group. I am grateful that I was able to dodge that bullet, but I feel so bad for Itumeleng. She really doesn’t deserve this. I wish there was more I could do for her, but I know that this is something she has to work through with her family.

I also know though, that there is something I need to do. I need to talk to Phelo.

When we get home we find my dad in the living room – with Phelo. This is surprising. When we walk in, Phelo springs to his feet to greet Aunt Vuyi, which makes her smile. She bombards him with questions and compliments. I decide it’s best I save him before she scares him off. Plus, I need to start that awkward conversation with him, while I feel brave enough.

“Uhm, Phelo do you want to talk outside?”

“Yeah, sure. Let’s do that.”

He looks relieved as he walks with me to the back door. We sit on the patio bench and look out into the garden. I suddenly can’t keep my mind from racing … and then words just come tumbling out unintentionally.

“Have you had sex?”

“Whoa! Random … but yeah I have had sex.”

“Do you except me to have sex with you?”

“No, I don’t expect you to do anything. Where is all this coming from?”

I fill him in on what has been happening, and it all makes sense to him. He takes my hand and moves closer to me.

“It is totally understandable that this whole situation has you freaked out. I just want you to know that we don’t need to do anything you’re not ready for. I am not dating you so we can have sex. I’m with you because I find you interesting, funny, incredibly smart and relatively weird.”

This makes me laugh and blush a little.

“I just got freaked out and all this stuff was running through my mind. I know I’m not ready for sex yet, but I want to ask you something.”

“You can ask me anything, babe.”

“Will you go get tested with me?”

***

Tell us: Can you identify someone in your life who is as supportive, kind, and yet strong, as Aunt Vuyi? Your go-to person in a difficult situation?