Two weeks after she was finally discharged from the hospital, Reneilwe still felt like her life was nothing but a burden to her family. Her father’s body was becoming weaker every day. She knew it was because of the pain that he felt every time he saw her in that wheelchair.

And even though the doctors had said that she would walk again one day, Reneilwe felt like she was trapped, like she was being punished for causing pain to Sister Moleko. The kind woman who took care of them like her real family. The fact that she was still angry at her was killing Reneilwe inside.

“Ao! Reneilwe ngwanaka. Why are you sitting here like this? Can’t you hear that someone is knocking in the kitchen? Gape I could even hear him calling your name from the bedroom. I think it’s that friend of yours. The one who brought you back to life. What’s his name again?” Mr Radillo said, entering the sitting room.

“Shawn, Papa. Don’t worry. I’ll open for him. Just go back into your room and rest.” She pushed her wheelchair to the back door. “Dumela Shawn.”

“Hi Sweetness,” Shawn greeted her back, entering. He kissed her on the cheek, gently. “Let me help you,” he continued, pushing her back towards the sitting room.

Shawn picked her up and carried her to the couch. They sat next to each other, holding hands.

“How are you feeling today, my love?” He kissed her again, on the lips this time. She rested her head on his shoulder, squeezing his hand with both of hers. There was something about him. Something that made her forget about her misery easily, when she was next to him. It was as if he had power over her mind. Power that captured all her thoughts – except for those about how much she loved him.

“Well … today I’ve been thinking a lot about Sister Moleko. Maybe it’s because of what my mother said to me in my dream last night. I wish she could just forgive me you know. Can you believe that she has not set foot in this house to help my father since that day she left us at the hospital? It’s obvious that I really hurt her.” Tears rolled down her cheeks onto Shawn’s shoulder as she sniffed.

“Ssh! Don’t punish yourself, babe. You were also a victim here. That bastard took advantage of you. I can’t believe that woman is too blind to see that.” He paused, stroking her tenderly.

“No, actually, in fact, I think she does. She believes you. It’s just that she is scared to accept the truth. Imagine, finding out that a man whom you saw as your life partner betraying you like that! Manipulating your friend’s daughter to sleep with him … right in front of you. That’s deep.”

“I wish I had courage to face her. Do you think it would be a good idea to go and apologise to her again?”

“Eish! I can see that this is really eating you, babes. If that will give you peace, then do it.”

“Are you sure? What if she chases me away?”

“Well … we will never know unless we try. Come, I’ll go with you. For moral support,” Shawn said, standing up.

He wasn’t sure if he was giving her good advice, remembering how furious Sister Moleko was after finding out the truth. He had also heard rumours that she was telling people that Reneilwe got what she deserved, and she hoped the girl would never walk again.

Reneilwe’s heart pounded as they entered Sister Moleko’s yard. Briefly, she hoped the woman wasn’t home. What if Sister Moleko caused a scene and started shouting? Should they go back home, Reneilwe asked herself, trembling, but she said nothing out loud.

Well, her hope was in vain. They could see that Mrs Moloko was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at a framed picture in her hands.

“Kokokoko!” Shawn knocked, pushing Reneilwe’s wheelchair forward.

Mrs Moleko frowned as she met their gaze through the open door. “Wena!”

“Dumela Mmane,” Reneilwe greeted with dropped eyes. She looked embarrassed.

“What do you want here? Aren’t you satisfied with the damage you’ve caused to my family? Mmm! Just look at me! Look!” she yelled, tears rolling on her cheeks as she pointed at her mourning clothes.

Reneilwe felt her heart sink inside when she saw the tears on Sister Moleko’s face. She swallowed saliva, not knowing what else to say. She felt like she was a cheap prostitute.

“Please Sister Moleko. Just give her a chance to tell you how she feels. I know you’re hurting, but she is hurting too,” Shawn begged her.

“I don’t care how hurting she is. She brought this on herself. After everything that I did for her family! She pays me by sleeping with my husband? No. That’s unforgivable. No way,” she stated, and wiped her tears off with the back of her hand, putting the picture on the table, faced down.

“I know what I did is unforgivable, Mmane. And I’m sorry. But please, I’m begging you, don’t punish my father for my sins. He needs you. Please! I don’t want to lose him too!” she said, and burst into tears.

Shawn put his arm around her shoulders, sitting on the chair next to her. “Shh! Don’t cry,” he comforted her.

Then he turned towards Sister Moleko. “Ma … please, just forgive her. We all know that your husband is not an angel here. What kind of a man dates a 16 year old girl? His friend’s daughter? You were like a mother to her. You are supposed to protect her from vultures who want to corrupt her. Not judge her like this. Mr Moleko took advantage of her. I’ve seen how he used to bully her. How he threatened to kill her with his gun. She was scared of him. In fact, she was trapped in that relationship.”

“Trapped? She wasn’t trapped. She knew what she was doing. She wanted a blesser and–”

“No! That’s not true,” Reneilwe interrupted her, tearfully. “I wanted to tell you and my father the first time he forced himself on me but he said no-one will believe me. He even threatened to kill me!”

“You see? He played with her mind. There are many girls who are suffering because of evil men out there who take advantage of their poverty. You’re a kind, educated woman, Ma. You should be helping those girls. Not judging them – like all these people who call them names!” Shawn’s voice was full of frustration.

Sister Moleko looked at Reneilwe silently, taking in Shawn’s words.

She felt her heart melt when she remembered how Reneilwe used to be a bubbly girl, always happy and singing for them. How she liked wearing a pink swimming costume, telling everyone that she wanted to be Miss South Africa some day.

Then, one day, about a year ago, she changed into a quiet, angry girl, avoiding her friends. It was like she had become a different person. Everyone thought she was struggling with the loss of her mother. That she would get better as time passed.

Perhaps Shawn was right, she thought, grabbing the picture up, tearfully. It was a framed photo of her and Reneilwe’s mother, wearing their church uniform. Their beautiful, wide smiles reminded her how close they were. The smile she didn’t see on the face of the woman she loved more than her sister, last night, in her dream.

She wondered if her friend’s spirit was happy, wherever she was, about what was happening recently. Had she done a good job taking care of her children? Tears poured out of her eyes as her friend’s voice echoed in her ears. She remembered how she had pleaded with her to take care of her children, before she gave away her last breath.

“Sshh! Don’t cry, Mmane. I know you miss her. I miss her too,” Reneilwe said, looking at the picture.

“I’m sorry, ngwanaka. I’m sorry for everything. I know I failed you. I just haven’t been able to face the truth. It hurts a lot! How couldn’t I see what was happening? You were always tense around him. I’m a nurse. I should know these things.” She howled like an infant. “I failed you, and your mother!”

“No. You didn’t, Mmane. You’re also a victim here. He betrayed you. The only person who should be blamed is Moleko. Not you,” Reneilwe said tearfully, wheeling her chair to be able to reach her arm around Sister Moleko’s shoulders.

Shawn took a glass and poured some tap water. He gave it to Sister Moleko, who gulped it down. He then did the same for Reneilwe. Something inside told him to leave them so that they could continue with their conversation alone. He could see how heartbroken they were, and how they had missed each other.

“Thank you for your forgiveness, Ma. You gave me freedom. This thing had been eating me inside since the day he touched me that way,” Reneilwe told her later as they were sitting on the couch, drinking tea, while watching TV. It was like the old days.

“Don’t worry, my child. Just let it go. Focus on your future and make your mother proud. I know it won’t be easy after everything that has happened. But I’m here to help you with everything that you need. From now on, I’m going to treat you like my own daughter. Yes, I’ll even pay for your university fees so that you will be able to take care of your brother, too, one day.”

She paused, sipping her tea.

“I wish he didn’t die in that car crash, you know. I wanted to confront him about what he did. Spit this anger out! But now … he is gone. It’s like he got an easy way out.” Angry tears shone in her eyes again.

“Exactly! That’s how I felt, Ma. But my father comforted me when he reminded me what my mother would have said, as she always did whenever she was facing something she couldn’t control. That only God will deal with him. Forgive and move on. That’s what she would have said and I think we should do that.”

Sister Moleko heard those words echoing in her ears, as if her friend was indeed saying them. Reneilwe was right, that was what her friend always said when things were heavy. Her religion was her pillar.

She could accept now that things would be better with time. The pain of betrayal would go away, and she would stop seeing visions of Reneilwe and her husband in bed together whenever she tried to sleep at night.

Life would be enjoyable again, with God’s power shining like a ray of hope.

*****

Tell us what you think: Are the two women right to try and forgive Sergeant Moleko and ‘move on’? Would you have?