To: UNDISCLOSED RECIPIENTS
From: Kathy Strijdom Kathystrijdom@gmail.com
Re: Babycraft Classes

Hi Mums!!!

I am so excited to see you all tomorrow in the Rec Centre Hall for our first session in Babycraft.

I spoke to the administrator’s and they have promised to leave the heater’s on for us. It is chilly at this time of year and I don’t want my Mums starting to shiver!!!
Please remember to bring water bottles to sip from frequently. We want you and Baby to stay Hydrated at all times. Reminder!!! There will be tea and coffee served halfway through the session. There will also be biscuits, but I’m sure my Mums don’t want to poison their bodies with gluten and sugar. I will do my best to organise some Healthy Snacks for next weeks class!!!

Dad’s, a big welcome to all of you as well. There is plenty that you can also learn from these classes. When its your turn to babysit the Little Ones to give Mum a break, you can do so with Confidence. So don’t think of slipping off to the pub halfway through!!! LOL!!!

See you all tomorrow!

Love from Kathy xxx

***

To: Nosipho Mamusa nosiphomamusa@gmail.com
From: Zizi Nkomo zizinkomo@gmail.com
Re: Nosiphiwo Mamusa

Dear Nosipho,

Thanks for writing to me. As you guessed, I do have a family. My wife and I have a customary union and our families are bonded by lobola. We have two children, boys, aged three and five.

I certainly knew Nosiphiwo all those years ago, and it is possible that I am your biological father. If it is okay with you, I would very much like to confirm my paternity by means of a DNA test. It is not that I doubt your word, or that of your adoptive mother (whom I remember very well). It’s just that I would like to know for sure before I get to know you better. I’m sure you feel the same way.

We can do it via an independent laboratory we both agree on. Then, if the test turns out to show a match, we can take the whole formal route of letting the elders in our families meet and establish a connection. My wife agrees that this would be the right course. If you do turn out to be my daughter, I can promise that you will be getting a very loving stepmother who is anxious to meet you. You will also have two naughty little brothers who are very mischievous and sweet.

I am excited to have a daughter, so I hope this turns out to be true.

All the best,

Zizi Nkomo

***

“So, what do you think of that?” Nosipho asks.

“Let me see it again.” Lael takes Nos’s phone and reads through the email again.

We are in the car on our way to Nos’s first baby-care class. We keep our voices down so that Lungile doesn’t hear every word we say. It’s not that he tells on me to my parents or anything, but he is quite a gossip. Basically, my parents are the only people he doesn’t tell our business to.

“I can’t believe you wrote to him.” Lael hands the phone back to Nosipho.

“I know. I can’t believe I did either. I pressed ‘send’ before I had time to think about it. I can’t believe he wrote back. And
such a nice letter too. You guys don’t think he’s a psychopath or anything?”

“He seems like a regular dad,” says Lael.

“I guess I don’t know what dads are like, regular or otherwise, because I’ve never had one.”

“Is your mom going to kill you when she finds out you wrote to him without waiting for your uncles to handle it?” I ask.

“I think she’ll be mad at first, but hopefully she will realise that this was the best way to go about it. I only want to involve my uncles if he does turn out to be my biological father.”

“So, are you going to take the DNA test?”

“Definitely. And as soon as possible. I want to get this sorted out before my mom gets back.”

“Is she away again?” asks Lael.

“Yes, she’s back in America putting the finishing touch-es to this business deal. Auntie Mbaks is looking after me on weekends again.”
“What are you hoping for with the DNA test?’ I ask. “Do you want it to be him, or not?”

Nosipho thinks for a while before answering. “I don’t know. I thought I did, but it’s all happened very quickly. One minute I didn’t even have a dad, and now suddenly I might have a dad, a stepmother, and two little brothers. It just seems a bit quick, you know?”

Lael understands this better than I do. I already come from a big family, but she knows what’s it’s like to join someone else’s insta-family.

“It’s hard, I know. They have their own ways of being a family, and you can’t really be a part of that even if they ask you to. My only advice is to take it slowly. You set the pace. Don’t let things happen that you’re not comfortable with yet.”

We sit straighter in the car as we see the recreation centre up ahead. Nosipho is already nervous about this baby-care business, and we’re nervous on her behalf.

“I don’t know about this, guys. Did you see that email I got from the Babycraft lady? Why do people talk to you like that when you’re pregnant? Like you’ve lost about fifty IQ points. Do they think pregnancy makes you stupid?” Nosipho is on a roll. “And what’s this ‘mums’ business? This is South Africa. We call our mothers ‘mom’ or ‘mama’ or ‘mma’. And since when do fathers still ‘baby-sit’ their own children? That’s so old-fashioned. I thought it was called ‘parenting’ if you’re a parent. uKathy needs to catch a wake-up.”

By the time Lungile stops the car to let us out, Nosipho is feeling better for having got that rant off her chest, and so are we.

We’re early, but other cars are pulling up now too, and pregnant ladies are getting out. To say they are older than us would be an understatement. Some of them must be forty.

“Check it out, guys – they’re old enough to be our mothers, never mind the babies’ mothers,” Nosipho whispers.

“Older,” I say, seeing as my mom is only thirty-six, and so is Thulani.

“Well, if they don’t age-shame me, I won’t age-shame them,” says Nosipho.

All the women have got men with them. I was hoping there would be a few on their own or with other women, just to make Nos feel less conspicuous. Not all of them are pregnant, though. Some have already had their babies, and are carrying them along, tucked into car seats. I can’t help wondering how much quiet time we’re going to have with at least four newborn babies in the class.

When we have all settled into our chairs, a young white woman stands and spreads her arms. I assume this is Kathy.

“Welcome, Mums, welcome!” she says in a perky voice. (Yes, it’s her.) “You have all enrolled here this evening to learn some basic parenting skills. We will cover the years from newborn to toddler. This course will deal with hygiene and nutrition, and also stimulation and early education. Now, some of you are still expecting your little ones, and some have brought them here with you tonight. You are all very welcome.”

There is a slight wail from one of the car seats, but the dad starts rocking it, and it subsides.

***