Sometimes I’m amazed by the audacity that people have, you know. Take Sebastian, for example, a few months back he told me he was leaving. For a moment or two I was filled with rage and thinking “how could he do this to me? How could he just leave me…? Is this a joke or what?”

You know how it is when you’re angry and confused, right? You ask too many questions, that’s what happened to me too. So I say to him (laughing coz laughter seems the only right thing to do):

“You are leaving me? What does that even mean?”

“No, no, no!” he says, “that’s not what I meant!”

“What is it then that you meant?” I asked, crossing my arms, and staring at him like I’m ready to swallow him whole. (Yes, I can do that when I’m angry!)

So he tells me to calm down coz he can’t speak to me when I’m angry. I calm down. He then continues to explain how he had applied for a scholarship to study overseas without discussing it with me first and he was LEAVING in September. That was back in April.

To tell you the truth, anger is an understatement of what I felt then. What I felt was a mixture of emotions. Yes, I was happy for him, but I was disappointed too. The least he could have done was to discuss it with me first. I mean, I’m his GF therefore his leaving definitely is a matter of concern for me. But he made it seem as if I had it all wrong.

We fought that night. He left. I felt sad. Now, we’ve both been keeping our distance. No calls. No texting. Silence from both sides. No one mentioned a break-up (that ugly word that every lover fears!).

Our silence… I say “Our” now – but it was not a decision “we” took nor was it easy. It took a lot of self-restraint (and, pride, of course!) to stop myself from calling him time and again. Some nights I would think about him and all that we’ve done together and the memories we’ve created until my heart ached.

But, I guess, it was for the best! I mean, long-distance has never worked out fine for me. So, I guess, we both realised that it was better to stay away from each other.

…that is, until today.

He called me. He says he wants us to meet before he leaves – but I refused! I hung up on him, again!

I don’t know why but I can’t shake off the feeling that what I did was wrong, that it was stupid and childish, that I could have handled things better and now I can’t sleep. Tossing and turning on my bed for close to three hours now…should I call him or not?

I can’t seem to decide!

ZZ xxx

Dish it: do you think I should call him back?