Finally he decides that he misses me. Sebastian came to see me. At first I acted as if I wasn’t interested in what he had to say. I just gave him the answers to the questions he asked (a technique I learnt from dad).

He was like, “How you doing?” and I gave him a solitary “Good.” response. He looked at me expecting me to ask how he was doing and I just stared blankly at him.

“What you doing?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

It was only then that he realised that something was wrong and he asked me about it. I told him that everything was fine and he shouldn’t worry.

It was a lie, nothing was fine. Actually, everything was wrong. The way he answered me the other day, mom taking my car keys, dad being angry at me, and him almost dying on me.

I needed him and it seemed he wasn’t aware of it. The fact that he wasn’t aware made me bitterly sad. And before I knew it I had told him everything and I was crying and hugging him. He held me in his strong arms and stroked my back with his soft hands.

“Everything will be fine,” he said, softly whispering in my ears.

His voice was soft and caring, I felt safe in his arms. I loved him again. He made me promise that I will be a “good girl” towards my mother. He reckons that this will soften mom up and she would give me the car keys back in no time, it’s a pity he don’t know my mom like I do. Mom has a rock for a heart and she is not easily moved by petty remorse deeds. But still I promised to be a good girl.

How could I resist that voice that spoke softly to me? A good girl is what I will be.

Eish mara, why do we never want the ones we love the most to see that have such an effect on us?

ZZ xxx