The term “relationship virgin” refers to individuals who have never been in a romantic relationship.
When it comes to romantic relationships, there are two kinds of relationship virgins: voluntary and involuntary. Voluntary relationship virgins deliberately avoid romantic commitments, often due to reasons like being selective, valuing independence, or other personal factors. Involuntary relationship virgins, on the other hand, are those who are still waiting for the right relationship to happen.
Whether you’re a relationship virgin, involuntarily or voluntarily, you might find yourself a victim of these questions when around other people – “Are you seeing anyone at the moment?”, “Have you got your eye on someone?“, “When was your last relationship?“. These questions can feel invasive and frustrating.
As harmless as these questions may seem, there are many young people that I know who are involuntary relationship virgins that beat themselves up for not having been in a relationship yet – mainly from this pressure from society to be coupled with someone. I can assure you that It’s really nothing to be ashamed of.
And yes, I know, it might not even be societal pressures, the pressure could well be coming from within to find your person. As you grow older, you look at your age and think, surely this is something that I should have experienced already. As much as you may have achieved or experienced what you wanted up until a certain point, there’s that one thing missing – a relationship. I get it. It’s natural to feel this way.
Have compassion for yourself. It’s not necessary to define yourself by what you haven’t achieved or who you don’t have, embrace things like your hobbies, successes, and the people who matter most in your life. Why don’t we shame those that don’t prioritise life experiences, such as being single,living alone, dining out solo, or taking solo trips? I mean, these personal experiences are equally valid and valuable.
When negative thoughts like “I’m going to be alone forever,” “I’ll never find the one,” or “What’s wrong with me?” begin to overwhelm you, it’s crucial to keep these points in mind to support your mental well-being:
Choosing a different life path from many of your friends doesn’t make your journey any less valuable.
Being discerning about your relationships indicates that you know what you want and aren’t willing to settle. This self-awareness and commitment to your values are admirable.
Take comfort in the reassurance often offered by family and friends. This belief can offer perspective and solace.
Remember that you’re not alone. You have a supportive network of family and friends who care for and support you.
Being a relationship virgin, whether by choice or circumstance, is a personal journey that should be met with understanding and self-compassion.
Remember, there’s no universal timeline for love and relationships. Every individual’s story is different, and that includes your own.
Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences on being a relationship virgin in the comments below.
****
At Fundza, we value a positive, respectful, and inclusive community where everyone feels safe to share their thoughts. Please remember to keep your comments friendly, constructive, and free from any form of hate speech, bullying, or discrimination. Any comments containing offensive language, personal attacks, or harmful content will be removed, and repeat offenders may be banned. Additionally, do not share personal information about yourself or others. This includes but is not limited to, phone numbers, addresses, or any other private information. Let’s keep the conversation welcoming, safe, and supportive for all!