The first time I watched porn, I kind of stumbled upon it in my parents’ bedroom. They had this VHS tape with a naked man and woman on the cover, wrapped in an embrace, hidden between the books on their bookshelf. I was eager to see what was on this tape, because something about the way their bodies were entangled made me want to know more. That very next weekend I invited my best friend over to watch the tape together because we both had questions. This tale is a common tale among teenagers, in a study with a group of teenagers by Dignify it was found that the average age teenagers are exposed to porn for the first time is 12.
Porn is everywhere.
Yes, it’s true that in the year 2024 porn is so easily accessible that you can type in your latest fetish, and thousands of videos will be readily available, but did you know that porn has been around for thousands of years? Researchers have found rock paintings by the Aboriginals dated around 28 000 years ago depicting naked bodies having sex. Sex has been depicted in our society with whatever materials humans have had at their disposal for centuries. In 2019 Pornhub released their statistics and it showed that their website has 80 000 visitors every minute of every day. I am no mathematician, but if you do the quick maths: 80 000 (visitors per minute) x 60 (minutes in an hour) x 24 (hours in a day) x 365 (days in a year) then it will amount to 42 048 000 000 or in other terms, 42 billion and 48 million porn watchers in one year. People watch porn so much that the number of website hits on one porn website exceeds the number of people on earth.
You might be thinking, why are people so porn obsessed? This is an interesting place to start, because porn has been used to cause so much damage: people are sex trafficked every day by strangers, by their own family members. Why do we want porn to succeed in a world where it can be used for violence?
Because porn is just like any industry, if there are regulations in place to protect the sex workers, then the industry could be an ethically sound business. With the number of views porn websites get, porn isn’t going anywhere. Even if we had to criminalise watching porn; people would still find a way to watch it. We might as well start finding ways that will make porn safer to watch and to create. Because let’s face it, just like when I was a pre-teen looking for answers in an old VHS tape, porn is where a lot of people get their sexual tips and tricks to try with their partner from. A lot of people, me included, sometimes use porn to masturbate. Porn can also be a great way for sex workers to make money.
Porn has been used for good too. In 2016, the state of North Carolina wanted to pass a discriminatory law that bans trans and gender diverse persons from using the bathroom that aligns with their gender identity. In response the adult website XHamster, banned access to their website for everybody logging in from the state of North Carolina until this law was removed. Hardly a couple months later, the power of the porn came through and the law was replaced with a less harsh version of it. Aluta Continua!
What we need in the porn industry is better regulation, the porn industry at large has come under fire because they don’t effectively regulate the videos that are being uploaded to their sites meaning many videos of underage children being raped and trafficked make it onto these websites before being flagged for being criminal. We need regulation so that sex workers are being paid fairly, so that we can put an end to sex trafficking, because yes, a regulated porn and sex work industry will make working in the industry safer and with proper advocacy will ensure that people know their rights.
Sex therapist Paul Blumer once wrote that porn addiction can cause erectile dysfunction in otherwise healthy people. This is because while we are watching porn, porn engages our reward centre in our brain, so when otherwise healthy people with penises have sex with another person, they may experience erectile dysfunction. When you are watching porn and masturbating, you are only rewarding your own pleasure centre and not another person. When we have sex with other people we must take their feelings, their insecurities, their energy into consideration. Therefore, it is important to watch it in moderation and not rely on it to experience true connection through intimacy with others. Porn stars are actors and what they do on camera is oftentimes highly choreographed and may provide the viewer with unrealistic expectations.
Porn can be a really great tool for release; it can also be a tool to engage our innermost fantasies, but if we are not careful porn can be an addiction that can change the way we understand and engage with in sex. Only watch porn from ethical and regulated websites, and for the love of fornication, remember that pirn is fantasy – not real life.
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