A female orgasm is a highly pleasurable feeling during sexual activity – whether with a partner or when you masturbate (pleasure yourself).

Every woman experiences an orgasm in her way, and not everyone responds to various sexual activities in the same manner. Some women prefer clitoral stimulation (the outer part of the clitoris is at the top of the genitals or vulva), and others prefer vaginal stimulation. Some women enjoy both.

Researchers have identified four phases or stages of the sexual response cycle. Men and women undergo these four stages, but their timing can differ. The intensity of sexual feelings and the time a woman spends in these four stages differs for everyone. Knowing your body helps explain what you need to your partner and can make your sexual experiences more pleasurable. Each phase can be different on a physical and an emotional level.

The four stages are as follows:

Excitement. In this phase, sexual feelings increase, your heart starts beating faster, muscle tension and blood flow increase in the genitals, your nipples can harden, and your clitoris and inner lips of the vagina swell. The vagina also becomes lubricated.

Plateau. The plateau phase is next and lasts until just before an orgasm. All the processes described above intensify, and sexual feelings can reach a fever pitch. In this phase, the clitoris becomes very sensitive.

Orgasm. This is the (usually pleasurable) climax of the sexual response cycle. Unlike the two cycles above, which can last many minutes each, an orgasm usually lasts only a few seconds. During orgasm, rhythmic contractions take place in the vagina, the uterus and in the muscles of the pelvic floor. There is a sudden and strong release of the sexual tension that has built up.

Resolution. After orgasm, the body returns to its normal state. Breathing and heart rate slow down again, the blood flow reverses its direction, and the clitoris and vagina return to their usual size and colour. Many women experience a sense of well-being after an orgasm, which results from the release of endorphins (feel-good hormones) during orgasm.

Some quick facts on the female orgasm

• Stimulation of the vagina, clitoris and nipples can all result in orgasm. Sexual intercourse is not the only, or the superior, way. Orgasms feel different for every person.
• It is unusual for partners to reach orgasm at the same time.
• Men must ejaculate for sperm to be deposited in the vagina. There is no such apparent biological reason for the female orgasm (apart from the pleasure it causes) – a woman can fall pregnant without having an orgasm. 
• Some women’s orgasms last just a few seconds, and others up to two minutes. There is no such thing as a normal duration of an orgasm. Every woman experiences it differently.
• Women usually require about 14 minutes of sexual stimulation to orgasm during partnered sex. Men can take as little as five to seven minutes to climax during vaginal sex. That’s why it is important to tell your partner what you like.
• The vagina becomes wet before and during an orgasm; some women may ejaculate this fluid.
• When you have an orgasm, endorphins, so-called feel-good hormones, are released, which can make you feel happily relaxed or even sleepy. This can also temporarily dull all kinds of pain.
• If you struggle to orgasm, there may be many reasons, such as stress and anxiety, past negative experiences, or a partner who doesn’t do what you need to become aroused. There may also be an underlying medical reason.
• Your partner cannot tell whether you have had an orgasm or not. Many women pretend to have orgasms if they want the sexual activity to end for whatever reason or if they don’t want their partner to feel bad.

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Read about the importance of safe sex here