There is often a stigma associated with being queer, especially for girls. Sometimes people think it’s a phase, that it’s only a fantasy or that it’s a sin. But, coming to accept yourself and who you are as a queer youth in South Africa, it is important to remember that there is community, love and support waiting on the other side of acknowledgement and acceptance. Ijeoma pens a letter to young girls that it is okay to like other genders, and that embracing who you are is the best gift you can give to yourself.

Dear Young Girls,

Growing up, you will hear many people say that love is only between a man and a woman. But what they don’t tell you is that love comes in all shapes and sizes, and that includes loving someone of the same gender.

As a queer woman myself, I know how it feels to be different from the majority of society. It can be scary, confusing, and sometimes even lonely. Especially in a country where homophobia is still rife, being out in public can be a life-or-death situation for some of you. But I want you to know that you are not alone. There are many others out there who feel the same way you do and who love who they love without shame.

In South Africa, we have many amazing queer women who have made important contributions to our society. Women like Brenda Fassie, who was a famous singer and openly bisexual. She paved the way for many other queer artists and inspired countless young people with her music.

We also have Eudy Simelane, a former South African women’s soccer player who was brutally murdered because of her sexuality. Her tragic death brought attention to the hate crimes against the LGBTQIA+ community in South Africa.

Zanele Muholi is a renowned photographer and visual activist who has been documenting the lives of black queer people in South Africa for over a decade. Their work is powerful and sheds light on the struggles that many queer people face in our country.

Zethu Matebeni is a queer scholar and filmmaker who has been a vocal advocate for LGBTQIA+ rights in South Africa and beyond. Her work focuses on issues such as gender, sexuality, and identity and has helped to create awareness and understanding around these topics.

These women, and many others, have made a difference in our country by being advocates in their respective fields. They have shown that being queer is not something to be ashamed of but rather something to celebrate.

I want you to know that your identity can remain fluid. It’s okay to explore your feelings and figure out who you are. You don’t have to have everything figured out right away, and it’s okay to change your mind.

Remember that you are not alone. There are people out there who love and support you just the way you are. And most importantly, there is nothing wrong with loving someone of the same gender. You have rights in our Constitution that allow it.

Girls can like girls, and that’s perfectly normal.

So embrace who you are, and don’t let anyone tell you that you are wrong. You are beautiful and unique, and the world needs more people like you.

Love,
Someone who understands.

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Tell us: Do you have any other advice for young girls who are figuring out their sexuality?

If you enjoyed this article, you may enjoy this one about educating young girls here.