A year back, I lost my dad. It’s hard to explain, but it felt like my whole world flipped upside down, like something inside my brain just… changed. The pain hit me like a tidal wave, getting stronger each moment—from seeing him for the last time to facing the blur of his funeral. I kept thinking I’d never get past it, never be okay again. Somehow, my mind’s put many of those memories in a place deep inside, almost like it’s trying to shield me from that hurt.
My recollection of the events is quite a blur, but the warmth of my friends’ hugs when they came to say they were sorry – that’s clear as day. Each embrace gently helped piece me back together. They didn’t need to say a lot; their presence alone told me we were in this together, ready to shoulder the weight and say goodbye to him like the king he was to us.
Family roots us to a sense of belonging, but as life weaves its complex path, we find kinship in friendships. These bonds bloom with shared laughter, tears, victories, and whispered secrets until they become essential to our existence. Dolly Alderton, in her book “Everything I Know About Love,” reveals that her friendships with women have taught her the essence of love, a truth I echo wholeheartedly. The camaraderie I share with other women is my daily lifeline—I cannot imagine a day without it, nor a world devoid of such precious connections.
Friendships have been a highlight of my life since my primary school days. We walked to school together, making the distance bearable, and by the time we went to high school, we were a tight-knit team. We spoke about everything, from boys, make-up, fashion, our aspirations in life and everything in between. They were there throughout my first heartbreak, and they cheered first in line all the times that I had achieved something in life.
We are now in our mid-twenties, and life has evolved so much from the time we met to the present day. The world has become digitalised, and the need for human interaction is being dulled down to just being behind the screen. I worry that some friendships are shape-shifting into “Hey, I hope you’re good,” with no physical connection. We exist in a world now where some people proudly call themselves introverts to avoid having full-blooded friendships – they think they would rather be alone with the only company being strangers on the internet. Some deem female friendships as dramatic and demanding and even opt for having male besties over girlfriends. I watch all of this with great sadness because they do not realise how enriching female friendship can be.
Friends offer you a shoulder to cry on when you need one without attaching a time frame as to when you must get better. They validate your emotions through shared experiences and advice. For me, they have provided unconditional love, a difference in perspective and very much-needed honest opinions. Life can be such a stressful event at times, and having friends that help you destress and offer you solutions is something everyone should want for themselves.
It’s kind of weird how we’ve twisted the idea of friendships into something negative, right? You’ve probably heard people say, “Don’t trust friends; they’ll chat with you but then chat about you when you’re gone.” Sure, not all friendships last forever; some can turn pretty bitter. But I’m all for giving it another shot with someone new.
It turns out that hanging with friends is actually good for you – scientifically proven good. Being around pals can boost feel-good stuff in your brain, like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which is a big win for your mental health.
So do yourself a favour and hold on to your friends as your life depends on it. And, if you do not have any just yet, it is not too late to put yourself out there and meet other women looking for friends. In this life journey, we all need a hand that holds us through it all.
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