You know how, in the fairy tale, Cinderella’s wicked stepmother makes her cook, clean and take care of everything around the house? My foster mother did the opposite, she hated having anyone else with her in the kitchen, so she never taught me how to cook. Besides doing the dishes every now and again and sometimes sweeping, I never had to lift a finger.

I used to think I was so lucky. I didn’t even realize that just because my mother didn’t behave like the wicked mothers in story books, doesn’t mean she wasn’t an abusive parent.

The parent’s main job, is to prepare the child for life, specifically, to make sure the child can thrive on their own for if and when the parents aren’t around one day. So when a parent leaves a child in ignorance, it is an intentional system targeted to set the child up for future failure. It is a control tactic.

When I was old enough to get away from my abusive childhood home, I was stuck. I needed to learn basic skills that most adults already knew. I had to learn how to cook, how to clean and how to look after myself. This seems simple but it was no walk in the park.

Imagine waking up from a long peaceful dream, only to wake up to a harsh reality. A world filled with constant obstacles lurking around every corner. Life becomes a test of survival and strategy. It can be overwhelming and you’ll feel like you can’t possibly go on. This is what becoming an adult felt like to me, however, I found a way to defeat the challenges.

As simple as it sounds, your mental health is the key to surviving this mind game. Your life is like a story, and you’re the author. You get to tell your story, how it is told is up to you. Will it have a happy ending or will the pages remain blank? This is my story, a story of dedication, patience and self love.

I was very fortunate to have a friend from high school who allowed me to come and live with her family. I sat at home doing absolutely nothing. I felt a sense of panic daily. In the fourth month, I had finally had enough of feeling pity for myself. I started job hunting. I emailed my CV to all the businesses in my area. It was like a test of patience as I waited for responses.

Then one day I finally received a promising phone call for a job interview. I had never been to a proper interview before, so immediately my mind began to fill up with doubts. I questioned my worth. Asking myself if I was good enough. Instead of letting my mind flood with these thoughts, I decided to take action. I googled tips for making a good first impression for an interview. I practised what I was going to say, highlighting my skills and strengths. I even practised in the mirror. Lastly I chose a decent yet eye -catching outfit, just to add a tiny bit of personality and to show I care. Just like that, I was on my way.

Sitting and waiting to speak to the manager for that interview felt like being in school again. I felt like I was waiting outside the principal’s office for bad behaviour. Talking to strangers is a struggle for me. To calm my nerves I did breathing exercises – breathing in for four seconds, holding my breath for four seconds, and breathing out fofr four seconds. I only focused on my breathing and I cleared my mind of negative thoughts. I went in to my interview with a relaxed my body and mind. The manager and I ended up talking for longer than the allotted time. Two days later, I was working.

I find myself thinking back. It amazes me to see where I am now. Starting off knowing nothing, having to learn how to fend for myself. Mine is a story of resilience, and self-discovery—a real-life ‘Cinderella’ story where the magic isn’t in a fairy godmother’s wand but in my determination to rewrite my own story. I did it, and so can you.