I am happy she is welcome. She is beautiful and the woman I want to marry, I already tell my brother. Soon I will show her the rest of family, I have plans for us.

This is until we fight at my brother’s home.

She saw messages on my phone, messages with Ellie. She is devastated and angry. She stands on her feet in fury like a hen that has her chicks stolen.

“You still love her?” she asks me. I don’t know what to answer. What can I do? I have to lie to please her. She didn’t only see Ellie’s messages, she saw other women’s chats. She cries and it hurts me seeing her like that. My brother suggests I apologise, and I do but she refuses to accept it.

At sunset Sue wants to leave.

My brother’s wife persuades her not to go but she has already vanished with her clothes. I’m so embarrassed, my brother even gives me an earful. I feel bad and try to talk to her through WhatsApp but she refuses to answer my calls. She remains quiet and I am so devastated and hurt.

“You bring a woman here with intentions to marry her. Brother sort it with Sue, you should hide your infidelity,” Farai yells when I visit her in Harare.

I should charm her with romantic words. It always works like a charm. But this time it doesn’t, Sue refuses to see me. I know her temper, who wants that kind of woman? What is best, getting married or having fun? Honesty I love Sue but my ego wants to be stress-free. Sue wants us to work and I know she loves me but her character chases me away.

She is so braggy. When I’m wrong I expect her to apologize. My brother is angry and blames me. I pack my stuff and say my farewells. I travelled to Harare. I know if she hears I am around it will surprise her.

“Baby I love you. I promise to change,” I say remorsefully.

She came to meet me and we talked for hours about our future. I’ m starting work soon and leave the following day. I update my brother about the outcome of my conversation with Sue, he is sticking for Sue. I should have told Sue about me staying with the ‘Ndebele woman’.

I want to return back to my horrible home. It is hell with that woman and if I want a future with Sue I must tell her the truth.

I finally tell her the truth. She cries on the phone. I am a hurter and I hate myself. She doesn’t deserve this.

“You have been cheating on me,” she cries.

If I was close I would hold her closely and make her remember how much I love her. She forgives me after two long days. She gives me money to pay rent and move to a new place. I’ll listen to her but I can’t keep my zip on my pants closed.

She finds the truth sooner, she came to surprise me and then boom! I ignore her for the whole week. I was with a woman for a week and I didn’t even know her, I just found an opportunity and took it.

She says hurtful things, I never want that kind of woman. I want my woman to accept me as I am. I tend to forget Sue supported me in every challenge I faced in my life. She care for me. I know what I am doing is wrong but I can’t change.

Sue is short tempered and when angry she shouts. Not all man love a shouting woman. I love Sue but long distance makes me lonely. She stays in Limpopo mostly and only when she gets a contract she travels to Pretoria, and I am in Gauteng.

I ignore her another week and she never bothers to send an SMS. My heart is hurt but it’s all for the best. I can’t even tell her it’s over, in my heart I love her but I am scared to know how she will react but I also want to hear from her but I choose this decision. I can never be loyal and faithful to her and letting go of her is the toughest decision I ever made.

***

Tell us: What do you think of Paul and his decision to rather be unfaithful?