When morning comes Ellie is furious, giving me an ultimatum to either tell Sue it’s over or I leave. I tell myself I will never do that, I am in love with Sue. So I keep drinking, trying to rid myself of the impending ultimatum. It’s like living in a thorn bush, how do I remove these thorns? They stab away at me every day.

“Baby look, we can meet in Zimbabwe,” I say to Sue when we talk on the phone, after Ellie has gone to work. I hope she agrees. My heart feels as though it has sunk into a deep hole.

“That will be nice,” she chuckles.

I’m excited, I’m meeting Sue in Zimbabwe and I’m going to enjoy it, then I will plan to look for accommodation later. I have wasted a lot of money on beer. I have to save before I drown in beer.

We communicate every day, I don’t want to lose her.

December comes and Sue makes my birthday the most remarkable day ever. She buys me a watch and some expensive whiskies. She prepares a candle-lit dinner with good food. Even my late wife never did that for me. My love grows bolder and I want her but she refuses to be intimate. She says when the time comes and I believe it will. Maybe she wants to see if I am serious as the saying goes: if you are really serious, wait for her.

Home isn’t a place I could be. I put myself in a difficult situation, hoping that one day I will tell Sue the truth. Days pass by quickly and I am planning to go home. I am going with my brother and his wife since we are all going to our parent’s place.

Only a week left to travel in the festive season and Sue calls me on a lovely morning. I wake up in a good mood, Maybe because our love has grown greater.

“When are you leaving baby?” Sue asks curiously.

“On the 15th, but still have to wait for my brother,” I answer anxiously.

“OK. I am leaving on the 18th,” I can sense her sadness through the phone. “We have to meet at the border.”

I love her very much. I don’t know what happened because at first I thought she was just playing me. You know when you don’t know, you don’t take them serious. No woman has shown me this kind of love before, it’s like my first time being in love.

The 15th comes and my brother is delaying our leave. All I can think of is meeting her at the border but we can’t leave him. I chat with Sue, telling her the situation and she still insists we meet by the border. She tells me she has a surprise for me. I smile and rejoice every time we speak. She is the one.

Why didn’t I see it sooner?

I carry my bags and leave for Pretoria. I sleep in the car after having dinner, cooked by my brother’s wife, and it is uncomfortable. I miss Sue and that’s when my phone rings.

“Baby I miss you,” I chuckle.

“Miss you too honey,” she says with cracks in her heart.

Her voice makes my eyes trickle and her hands make me want more of her. They entice me to hold her and feel her warm soft body against mine. She is all I think about and all I want. We behave like a normal couple with their ups and downs. We always fight about that Ellie thing that happened long ago and little does she know that I am staying with that same Ellie.

“Baby I hope you won’t let me down,” she says anxiously, her words touching me. I feel connected to her. I can only live with her, without her I won’t survive.

“I won’t. I promise,” I say gently.

“I love you.”

I have to sleep after she cuts the call. I check the time, it’s almost 11 p.m. Can’t wait to see her again. She is the love of my life.

***

Tell us: Do you think Sue has been faithful throughout the relationship?