The love of my life was no more, and I was never going be able to hug or touch him again. “I forgive you Rashied. I forgive you for everything,” I whispered, and in that moment, I felt a sense of ease and comfort.

After reading the letter, I felt as though both Rashied and my souls were finally at peace. I knew that, as much as it hurt to lose a loved one, I had to continue living for the ones that were still alive. I knew that life did not stop moving while I was still breathing, and that was the difficult part for me.

But my story did not end there, though. I ended up marrying Malik. I loved him, but it was a different type of love. It was not like the love I had for Rashied. Rashied was my soul-mate but soul-mates do not always end up together.

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Love can take on many forms, but that does not mean we love one person less than we do another. The heart is a big organ, and it is filled with enough love for the entire universe, but it is the type of love that matters.

My husband did not know about Rashied. It was too painful to discuss, and I was not sure how he would take it. A woman does not discuss her first love with her husband, unless it is him, and some secrets are best left locked up in our hearts. Over time, Allah blessed me with a son. I named him Rashied, and he had that same infamous and mischievous smirk his namesake had. He hugs me and tells me he loves me every day, and I do the same with him. Now, I will continue to love and care for Rashied in a different human form.

I am now an old woman, and my face is all wrinkled up, and my hair all grey. I am currently sitting alone in my room, with wrinkles etched into my face from all my past sorrows, and each wrinkle tells a story.

I am overlooking my favourite Rosebush through the perfect view of my window. While looking out, I see Rashied’s face hiding amongst the Rosebush, smiling back at me. I was afraid of forgetting him, so I ended up penning down this story in order to remember him before my old mind fails me, and my memories start to vanish.

Love lives in all of our hearts, but it only stays in our hearts for a select few. We must teach love because it is more power than hate. People will hurt us, but we can choose not to hurt them back. We need to learn how to choose to make life easy for the next person, because the trails of life are already filled with difficulties and heartache.

We need to believe in Allah’s plan and mercy, and we need to love endlessly, hurt less, and always choose our soul-mate. Life without love is a difficult and lonely walk to the finish line. So, may we all find who we are meant for, Ameen (Oh Allah, Please Accept).

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Writing has tired my aching hands. So, I decided to rest my head on my writing desk whilst looking over my beautiful rosebush. I’m already feeling tired of the day’s game of hide and seek with the familiar shadow. I’m also resting my head from all of life’s hurt and sorrow, and I find comfort in the warm blanket of death’s beautiful grip.

In the light of love, I see Rashied waiting for me to join him behind the Rosebush. He stands there looking young and beautiful, and he takes my hand and whisks me off to a beautiful place that I cannot comprehend. In that moment, both of our souls are at ease, resting in peace.

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