Tyler

That night I kept turning and tossing in my bed, my dad was now aware that I’m gay and he didn’t look like he was going to accept me anytime soon… That’s when I decided to write my feelings down on a piece of paper.

I was new to the entire concept of writing how I felt, but I had to. I couldn’t let my feelings stay bottled up inside… I poured my heart out into a piece of paper.

“Please don’t judge me. Please don’t judge me based on my sexuality, who I date, my hair, what I wear, or how I speak. I can promise you I’m different than what you’d expect. I don’t expect much, though that’s still too much. I’m not sure if I like myself as of now, but I’m working on it.

If I don’t care, you shouldn’t either. So you can keep knocking, but won’t knock me down, no love lost, no love found. When you so good, that you can’t say it cuz it isn’t even cool for you to sound cocky anymore. I am myself nothing more, nothing less.

I wouldn’t exactly classify myself as “normal” at the moment for I don’t know the meaning of the word and its true import. I can care less what you think of me. I don’t like to be judged or associated with troublemakers and just stupid people. I’m not perfect. To be factual, I’m very far from it. My point of view on things are different than most. I have values. I have a brain; and you should certainly invest in it dad. I will treat you with respect, if you treat me the same in return.

Here is the reply, sometimes people only gain self-gratification by making other people seem bad when all they are doing is verbalizing their own shortcomings and pointing them in someone else’s direction, they think by redirecting there self-image will make others not see who they really are. But if you have brains you can see it and they will not to play into it, then eventually it will all crash down on them 🙂 leaving you shining.

I gave the text to my dad, on the dinner table, later that night. There was silence at the dinner it was punctuated by a sound of my dad leafing and turning the bible. He turned to the book of Matthew 7: 1-29 and slowly read the text with a trembling voice…

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

Tears were welling up on everyone’s face. My dad got up and turned to me to give huge hug.

“I love you son. Who am I to judge” he said whispering and hold me tight in his chest.

The End

*****

How important is acceptance to you?