Being married for three years had made me feel lonely and rejected. My husband’s frequent trips made me feel less of a wife. Frank came home once in a while.

In the early days of my marriage it wasn’t like this, he was so loving and was always there for me when I needed him. He spent every night with me. It was until he got promoted to a manager that things changed. Now he was always unavailable. I had no children with him, we could have had one if he had been sexually intimate with me.

I hardly saw him because he came at night and the next morning he was gone.

My name is Jane Chamu Shumba, 25 years old and I worked at Bern Scholarship. I got married when I was 21. My parents were against it since we were both young. Frank was 24.

After spending the night alone I wake up so early and prepared for work. I dressed in my navy dress and white jacket and left for work. Everything seemed to be boring in my life. My friend Rosie looked happy and said we had a new member joining us. I saw why she was excited. The new member was a handsome man, same age as me. Something about his personality attracted me. When he smiled I get goose bumps. I was sitting on the chair doing filing and Rosie liked to talk.

“Did you see Joe? He is cute,” she said wondering.

“Yeah, he is,” I answered trying not to look at him.

I am married for God’s sake, I thought. We used to scream when we saw a handsome man passing by. Suddenly Rosie’s face was on me.

“How is home, my friend?” she asked.

“Home is fine,” I replied.

She kept pressing her eyes and I knew she wanted to know more and didn’t believe me when I said it was fine.

“Everything is fine, Rosie,” I said.

“Make sure you won’t fall for Joe. He is forbidden for you. He is mine,” she said and stood up.

I had been friends with Rosie since we met at Bern Scholarship. She knew me and I had a feeling she knew I had problems at home. She didn’t easily let it go but now she was blinded with love for Joe.

I also had feelings for Joe but I was married. Is it because my husband not giving me attention? I wondered. Did Rosie see I also wanted Joe? I ignored the guy and carried on filling paperwork.

During lunch I met Joe by the door entrance. He looked at me and I did the same. I watched his body, imagining holding every part of his body. I nearly bump in the wall. He greeted me.

“Hello.” I walked away embarrassed as fast as I could. I am married, I kept reminding myself. I couldn’t control my feelings because my husband was absent in my life. We no longer talked, the connection between us was gone and it was as if he didn’t want me anymore. I didn’t know who I was to him anymore. He didn’t call or look at me when he came back. I remembered when I wanted to talk him.

“Frank, my husband, why is work keeping you away all the time?” I asked politely sitting on the bed.

“I am so busy,” he answered.

“When are you going to be there for me?” I asked concerned.

“I know one day is one day. Right now I can’t promise,” replied Frank.

“You don’t call me anymore,” I said sadly. “You are always busy, you are not the man I married anymore.”

“Are you suspicious?” he asked. “As I said one day is one day. This is where I get money.”

I went out of the bedroom and didn’t want to have this conversation again. It made me sick. He considered his feelings and not mine anymore. I suspected he was cheating. Being a manager meant everything to him and I was the least of his worries. Thinking about this hurt and broke my heart.

***

Tell us: Do you think Frank is cheating or just obsessed with work?