When my body started changing I didn’t notice I was pregnant immediately. I took contraceptives but they didn’t work well in my body. Just after weaning my daughter I fell pregnant again. I didn’t even feel the baby inside of me, moving in my belly. Then he started kicking so hard, that I felt a slight pain.

My marriage was falling apart. I didn’t want to have another child with this man.

There are more responsibilities when you have more than one child. What if my husband leaves me for another woman? I thought. My suspicions came to light when I had noticed that my husband was cheating. I felt so lonely and missed him. He would return after days. Then one day he didn’t return for weeks, those weeks then turned into months. He would send his brother with money, until one day he stopped even that.

Sometimes I would just shout at my baby boy who was only a year and ten months old. I was devastated and cried a lot. I took out my anger on a child who didn’t understand what I was going through.

I had to accept that it was over between my husband and I. I will be alone for now.

“You look pregnant, you are getting fat.” A neighbour said to me. It was not only her, but also my mother. My belly was growing bigger. One day, I watched television to help my baby girl fell asleep. When she did I snuck out at night and saw a poisonous plant that someone had once told me could kill an unborn baby. I wanted to do it but my heart told me not to. To me, abortion is murder after all.

I wanted to remove the baby from my womb. How was I going to look after two children? My mind was confused. This wasn’t the life I wanted. I worked at a supermarket and hoarded things from South Africa to sell. This helped me pay my rent, bills and for the food I ate. I hated my husband for betraying me, but there was a chance I could carry on with my life without him.

I found a cheap place to stay and rented it. I couldn’t afford to stay in the suburbs. I had to look for a cheaper place which went with the salary I earned. I knew life was going to be tough. It made me stronger, even knowing I was a single mother.

I would leave my daughter at a friend’s place while I worked to make a living. I had to. Each and every morning I knelt down and prayed to the Lord to give me a son, I had a daughter already. My mother had only three girls, of which one passed away and then she was left with me and my younger sister. I wanted a son.

My feet started to get swollen. I didn’t go for a check-up until my belly was very big. If I did sooner, I would have had a healthy child. I could have had knowledge of other certain things.

One night I couldn’t sleep and my water broke. I was dressed in my nighty, reading a book. I started to feel hot with pain. I went to sit outside with no jersey. I paced up and down until I knew I couldn’t bear any more pain.

I knocked on a neighbour’s door. The woman came out and asked what was wrong.

“You are not even wearing warm clothes, you need an ambulance,” she said. Her husband heard the noise and notified the police station, so they could call an ambulance. I didn’t even have a phone in those days.

“The police said we should just look for a car to get her to the hospital,” he said and went inside his room. The woman took me to my room and wrapped me in a blanket. She kept asking questions, all I could feel was pain, which I couldn’t take anymore. She shook me asking for my mother’s number. I gave it to her, but I just wanted the pain to go away.

My daughter, sound asleep, didn’t even hear the commotion that was happening. At last my mother, aunt and sister arrived. They rushed me to the car. I was breathing heavily and walking so slowly. My sister was left behind to stay with my daughter. It was 4:30 in the morning when we left home.

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Tell us what you think: What do you think the dangers could be if a mother doesn’t go for her antenatal check-ups?