“OK there is no need for all that,” I said but he didn’t listen and he went to close the window too.

I got scared but pretended to be calm. He grabbed two glasses and poured us a drink. We started talking about why we broke up and why I don’t want him back anymore.

“Thulani, you are a nice guy, but you broke my heart and I’m never going back.” I explained.

“So you have someone better than me, just because I don’t have money to take you out or to buy you gifts?”

“No Thulani, it’s not that.”

“Then what is it? Don’t you love me?”

“No, I like you as a friend,” I explained.

“You know I don’t want us to friends. I love you. I messed up, but what I feel for you is real.”

“Please take me home I…” before I even finished he slapped me across the face.

I couldn’t believe it. I was sitting in front of a mirror and when I looked at my face there was blood on my lips. I had a big lump on my forehead and my eye was starting to turn a blue-greenish colour.

“Thulani, why did you hit me?” I asked, still in shock.

“Look what you made me do. If you said you love me this wouldn’t have happened,” he said that while going out.

“Don’t even try to run because I will catch you, hit you and no one will stop me. People from here know me very well. Do you know why I’m this skinny? I have been in hospital for months. I tried to kill myself. There is nothing I’m living for so please if you die in my hands, I don’t care about jail or anything.”

He walked out for a bit and came back with ice for me to put on my forehead. I was so furious but I had to act calm for him to believe that I loved him, that was the only way out for me.

“Go sit there.”

There was a small couch next to his bed and I sat there with the ice on my forehead and he sat next to me.

“So you don’t love me?”

“Come on, you know I love you babe, I just wanted you to beg me. I mean why do you think I don’t have a boyfriend, it’s because I sometimes miss you.”

“Do you mean that or you just playing with me?”

“And why would I do that?” I said, trying to act fine. “OK babe, let’s go take pictures outside.”

I just had to put on a smile and pretend. I wanted to see my family again. I faked a smile and went to take pictures.

“Let’s go inside, I need you to make calm me,” he said while standing up to go to the toilet.

“I beg you, please don’t say that,” I begged him but he refused to listen to me.

I went into the room as he instructed. He told me to lay in bed and he undressed me while I was laying down. I was praying for him not to break my virginity. I couldn’t bear having him on top of me.

My prayer was unfortunately not answered. When he was done he told me to dress up, he was taking me home.

I was just so relieved and dressed quickly before he could even change his mind. We got into the car and I pretended as if we were fine. When I got home I went straight to bed with my bruised eye.

He called me again and told me how much he loved me, like nothing happened, as if everything was OK. I couldn’t think straight.

My younger sister called me and when I looked at her, tears pricked at her eyes. Seeing her expression made me cry too. She called my older sister. When she saw my face her face grew hard.

“Siya, did that psycho do this to you? I knew that guy is a psycho, what did he do to you?”

“We have to tell our aunt,” my younger sister insisted.

“No, no, no,” I said.

“No what? Yes, we will tell her now.”

We went to my aunt’s room I told her everything. She called him.

“I love Sam and if I can’t have her then no one will. I can go to jail or even die for her.” He told my aunt.

“I don’t care who did what, we are going to the police station now,” my sister said furiously.

I didn’t refuse. She took her car keys and all the ladies in the house came with me. I told the police everything that happened, but they told me I can’t open a case, I can just have a protection order against him.

They called him in to the police station. He was begging for forgiveness, kneeling down in front of me. I cried because I used to love this guy, now I felt sorry for him.

While my sisters were shouting at him, I remembered his eyes, how they showed no remorse. I just didn’t want to see his face anymore. He promised to stop sending me texts, telling me that if he can’t have me then no one will. Those words scared me, but after that day he stopped and I never heard from him again. Even on the court day he didn’t show up and I was just so glad.


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