Time went by and nothing has changed. I was right back to square one. I could return to my parent’s home because of my stepfather, the two of us had beef with each other and we just don’t get along. I could visit but it’s not my wish to be in their home.

To think I will be returning back to Zimbabwe. People will talk, no doubt. And to top it all off, I’m pregnant. How humiliating to be pregnant and back home alone without a husband, the very same husband I bragged about loving me.

He is a monster. Nevertheless, I will be patient. He will change one day, I hope.

My cousin Masi came to visit us. She had problems at home.

“Please cuz, I need money.” She said as we drank tea.

Chido wasn’t home.

“I will help you, don’t worry,” I assured her.

I stood up and went to my bedroom. I took my purse and counted R2000 and gave it to her. I then heard laughing and knew Chido was home. I hoped he would understand. She is family and she needed help. I had to help her.

“Hey baby, I’m just helping Masi, she has problems at home,” I said.

Chido stared at us and nodded as if he agreed and then he gave a fake smile. I knew something was wrong.

“Thank you so much, cuz. I appreciate it. Let me go and buy mum’s medicine.”

I walked her out and saw that Chido had changed the expression on his face.

“This is supposed to be our money. You could have told me.” He complained.

“Masi was in a hurry, so I gave it because you weren’t here,” I answered.

“Why didn’t you call me, huh?” he asked violently.

“She is not a stranger Chido, she’s family,” I said calmly.

“Who am I? Do I look like a friend to you? Next time you better tell me these things.” He shouted and walked away.

“I used my money baby, my pay,” I said and he stopped.

He turned back. He was now more furious. I started to walk to the door. He pulled me and used his fists on my face. I felt dizzy and fell to the ground. He started to kick my stomach. It was painful and scary, I remembered I am pregnant.

“Chido! The baby!” I screamed.

He kept using his fists on my face and kicked me hard in my stomach. I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen, screamed louder holding it then he stopped. He stood there as I cried.

“You’re killing our baby!” I shouted at him as tears flowed my face and the floor.

He stared at me as I wailed and then he walked away.

Suddenly I felt I was wet between my legs. I checked and there was blood. I lost my baby.

I cried with so much emptiness. No one came in for me, I could not believe I had lost my baby of three months. My heart was broken. I cried marred with pain.

I stood up and saw by the window, he drove off. I went to the bathroom and took a shower, I saw the blood flowing and I cried even harder.

I got dressed and packed my bags. I do not want to be with him anymore. If he could kill my unborn child, he could kill me too.

I called a cab, this time I was leaving for good. I took a pen and paper and wrote him a letter.

Dear Chido

I can’t suffer anymore. I am divorcing you and leaving you for good.

C

I heard the cab hooting outside and I took my bags and left, without hesitation.

“Are you alright, ma?” He asked.

I nodded. I didn’t want to talk. No one could understand the pain I was in.