I woke up in complete pain. I noticed blood stains on the floor, which came from my lips. I was being abused by my own husband. I felt so alone, who could help me? I had no one. I sat on the couch, feeling hopeless and I could not think straight.

He came back and looked at me. I was terrified, it felt like my husband transformed into a monster, someone I no longer know. He is not the man I married.

“Let’s go sleep baby, I need you to take care of my needs.” He said, pulling my hand towards the bedroom.

He is stronger than I am and he slowly began to undress me.

He pushed me on the bed once I was completely naked. He got on top of me and forced himself in me, against my will. I did not want to have sex with him but he forced it. That is rape and it was painful. It was painful not only to my already aching body but painful to my soul. He held me tightly on the bed, I could not move. I feared he might kill me.

It was the weekend the next morning. I stayed in bed thinking how I had a choice to make, either to continue living with an abuser or walk out.

He was staring at me. My swollen face probably had cracks on my lips.

“Sleeping at this hour? Get up and take a bath then go cook for daddy.” He demanded.

I went to bath and went to cook in the kitchen. He came already dressed and sat to have breakfast. He ate his food like a king and treated me like a maid. I then went to sweep all the room floors.

I stared at him. He behaved as if he did nothing wrong. I had had enough. I wanted to go back home and leave him for good. I can’t survive and carry on like this.

I was thankful that it’s the weekend. What would I have done if it was a weekday, going to work with a face like this? Everyone will talk.

I went to the bedroom and started packing my things. While I was about to call a cab to pick me up, he walked in.

“Where are you going? Are you thinking of running away?” He asked with a threatening tone.

“You know your mother married a man who doesn’t like you, do you think you will be accepted back home?” He asked mockingly.

I only stared at him.

“If you go it’s over between us, don’t even think of coming back again.” He threatened me.

I looked at him and he laughed wickedly. I stared at him as he went out laughing. I sat on the bed and thought about what would happen if I stayed any longer.

This abuse carried on for months.

At work, I would wear a scarf around my head and I would cover my neck and wear sunglasses. People at work shouldn’t know my problems.

I found out I was six weeks pregnant. Chido was excited about the news and his attitude began to change when I told him about the pregnancy. He started to treat me more gently. I thought he would change for good since a baby was on the way.